Purpose ❆ Benny Rodriguez

28 | mend

04/03/2016

chapter twenty-eight ;
MEND

♡

I WAS BEGINNING to truly hate Michael Myers, and maybe my big heart, too.

　This time, in the dream, toddlers popped into existence before me, oblivious that a psychotic murderer was on the loose. Eager to protect them, I would pick up these children, each of which seemed to weigh as much as me, and continue running for my life. Only dreams never seemed to allow you to actually run. I felt as though wading through knee-length sand, especially holding so many kids.

　Naturally, I was thankful to wake up.

　It was a gorgeous Sunday morning – or, rather, near noon. Downstairs my mother was preparing breakfast: pancakes and, her specialty, blueberry muffins. She greeted me with a bright smile.

　"Good morning," Mom chirped. "I've got some news for you."

　For some reason, Benny flashed in my mind, along with a sharp, nervous feeling. He should not have been the first thing I thought of. Mom could have meant anything.

　"Yeah?" I breathed, leaning over the table.

　Mom turned to the stove, but not before I saw her mouth curve into a smile. "How do you feel about going back to Tennessee?"

　"Can we?" My eyes lit up. "For how long?"

　Despite the fact that I could not see Mom's face, I noticed how her posture changed, tensed. Her smile had faded. "I didn't mean for a visit," she said, slowly. "I meant move back."

　The words crashed into me like a bus, nearly knocking me out of balance. Confusion mingled with shock forced my stomach into the soles of my feet, and I had to sit down, contemplating but not wanting to ask, out of fear, if I'd heard her correctly.

　"No," I finally said, when it was clear Mom wasn't going to say anything else. "No, I don't – We can't move, I mean – Why?"

　Mom flipped a pancake, and turned to face me, though she remained at the stove. Although her smile was gone, her eyes were bright with excitement. "I'm pregnant."

　The bus of her words crashed into me again, knocking the breath from my lungs. Mom was throwing blow after blow. It should not have affected me like this, and I wasn't sure it was the idea of having a baby brother or sister. Truthfully, I didn't want to leave my friends behind. I didn't want to leave Benny.

　Deciding that I was not going to say anything, Mom continued, "I want to be with my mom for this."

　"But . . . why? I mean, both of your kids were born in cooler places than Tennessee. I'm from Texas, Luke's from Indiana, so let this baby be from California!"

　Mom laughed, shaking her head. "Truth is, I miss my family. We have no one but ourselves here. Your dad and I have been talking about it, and we've decided it's what we want. Aren't you excited to be a big sister, though?"

　"Yeah, but . . . the air is so moist there!" I protested. Clearly all of my excuses were petty and practically meaningless, but I didn't want to admit that I wanted to stay at least for one person.

　"Sorry, baby," Mom sighed, turning back to the pancakes. "It's basically set in stone. I know it sucks . . . You've built a life here, but you still have one back in Tennessee. You'll be back with all of your old friends. You always tell me how much you miss it there."

　"That doesn't mean I want to move back."

　But now that I thought about it, I really did miss Tennessee and all of my old friends. The idea was inviting. Part of me wanted to protest until the world ended; the other part wanted to accept this gladly.