Start Again

Safe

*Note: For Sid because this Rotten would've given up hope on this story without you inspiring me to continue on*

Even though I tried to avoid Dave the entire time before, I found it hard to take my eyes off him while he was on stage. His dancing was hypnotic and the only times I looked away from him was when I was looking at Martin.

Dave now seemed past his original anger at me for showing up with Martin. Now he was smiling at me and shaking his pelvis in my direction. A few times he grabbed his crotch and shook the handful of his bulge at me, which I tried to ignore but much like his dancing it was also sort of hypnotic.

I waited backstage as the concert ended. Dave was the first person I saw. I smiled at him as he walked towards me. He smiled back and stroked my cheek with the back of his index finger. Dave's hand lingered on my face.

"Did you enjoy the show?" He asked and winked as he brushed his thumb against my bottom lip. Now it was my turn to smirk. If he wanted to play this game then I would play along. I wouldn't crumble to my knees in front of him. I placed my hands on his chest and leaned forward.

"Of course I enjoyed it. I'm just sad it had to end so soon" I whispered to him before gently tugging on his earlobe with my teeth. I pulled away from Dave to see him staring at me with his mouth open.

"If you're gonna play that game with me be prepared to keep up" I teased him as he finally shut his mouth. "I'm just getting started" Dave replied. I let out a small laugh.

"Oh honey, I haven't even begun" I said and winked back at him before walking off to find Martin. He was just getting off the stage. I wrapped my arms around him tightly before he even had a chance to see me. He buried his face in my neck as he hugged me back just as tightly.

"So, what did you think?" Martin asked as he held me at arm's length. "Martin, it was amazing. Your voice is so stunning" I answered as he blushed and shyly looked away. "I like the way my name sounds when it's coming from your lips" Martin said now making me blush. I cupped his face in my hands before slowly kissing him. When I pulled away Martin was beaming with joy.

"Alan, Fletch, and Dave are going to a pub close by, do you want to come with me?" He asked as he placed his hands on my hips. I nodded and was quickly pecked on the lips a handful of times by Martin before we left the venue.

Sitting in that dark pub in a small booth smashed between Martin and Dave was the safest and most cared for I had felt in a long time. As Fletch came back with drinks the subject of my relationship with Billy was brought up with Alan again.

"You know she doesn't want to talk about it. Stop asking her" Dave scolded him. I put my hand on Dave's knee and smiled at him. "Thank you, but...I think I'll tell you" I said and sighed. Martin sandwiched my hand between his own and kissed my cheek.

"I guess I should start at the beginning right?" I asked unsure. "Start where ever you'd like. You don't need to say anything you aren't comfortable talking about" Martin said as he squeezed my hand. I actually wanted to talk about it, I felt like I was in good company with good people. Martin wrapped one of his arms around my waist and held me close to him for support.

I tried to tell them the story of my failed love life in the most unbiased way possible. I told them everything about Johnny and Billy that I was comfortable with telling. That turned out to be the majority of important events with me skimming over minor incidents that made no difference if I mentioned them or kept them to myself.

When I had finished it felt like the weight on my shoulders had lessened and I could finally take in a breath without feeling like I would be crushed under the weight of my past. It was quiet for a bit after I stopped talking.

"Shit, if I knew I would single-handedly ruin the night I would've kept my mouth shut" I said ashamed that I had killed the mood. Martin grabbed my chin and turned my head to face him. He kissed me like I had never been kissed before.

Martin pulled away leaving me with my mouth hanging open and staring up at him. There was so much emotion behind that one kiss that it made my heart flutter. It had also managed to scared me.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" I asked. Martin moved out of the cramped booth and I quickly got out. I shoved my hands into my leather jacket, my hands grabbing hold of my lighter and a pack of cigarettes that had been long forgotten in the pockets. I walked outside as tears started to build up in my eyes.

I placed the cigarette between my lips and began to fumble with the lighter. My hands became stiff as soon as the cold air hit them and I found it hard to simply flick on my lighter, something that had been as easy as breathing to me. The unlit cigarette bounced between my lips as I closed my eyes and started to hyperventilate.

The cigarette was plucked from my lips making my eyes snap open. Dave now stood in front of me, cigarette carefully placed between his lips as he took my lighter away from me. He effortlessly lit it before taking a long puff and placing it back between my still shaking lips.

"Breathe, slowly" Dave commanded as he tucked my lighter back into my jacket pocket. Slowly I inhaled the smoke and let out a sigh exhaling it quickly. "Come here" Dave said as he leaned against the wall and stretched his arm out towards me. I tucked myself into his side as he once again took the cigarette from my lips.

"You know you can smoke inside, right?" Dave quietly asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist. "I know" I said and leaned my head against Dave's shoulder. He held the cigarette to my lips as I took another deep inhale letting the smoke fill my lungs. The absence of his fingers made my lips tingle as he pulled them away.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I squeezed my eyes shut as the smoke trailed out of my nostrils. "I don't know" I replied as my voice shook. Dave dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his foot before he wrapped me into a tight hug.

"You don't need to know. I can see that you aren't" He said and kissed my temple. "I'm fine" I told him as I continued to try and hold back the tears. "I know what you need. Don't go anywhere" Dave told me as he let me go and walked back into the bar.

I sniffled and wiped my face on the sleeve of my jacket. My damp cheeks made me shiver as the cold air hit my face again. I heard the door open again and quickly tried to dry my face before turning around. It wasn't Dave, it was Martin.

"Dave said you were shaking and crying out here. Blair, what's wrong?" Martin asked as he closed the door behind him. I refused to look at his loving green eyes that were staring at me so intently that it frightened me again. I shook my head and kept my mouth shut. Martin grabbed my face in his hands forcing me to look at him.

"Blair, look at me, please?" Martin quietly asked. My eyes continued to fill with tears as they met his worried green eyes. He let go of my face and wrapped his strong arms painfully tight around me.

"I'm here. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere" Martin whispered into my ear as I began to quietly cry. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and placed my arms into his jacket before wrapping them around his bare torso.