Come Together: The Beatles Talkshow

More Interviews

Paul: We're going to interview more people!

Crickets: *chirping.*

George: You can feel the excitement, Paul.

John: Everyone's thrilled.

Ringo: So, uh, we're going to interview the Walrus. Come on out, Walrus!

The Walrus: *waddles onto the stage and looks at the chair across from the Beatles.*

Paul: *out of the corner of his mouth.* George, why do we have a chair here? He can't sit in it.

George: *mumbling back.* I don't know.

Paul: *continues to mumble.* This is awkward.

John: How are you, Walrus?

The Walrus: Fine, thank you.

George: Oh-ho! He can talk, can he?

Ringo: Of course he can. He's a human being, isn't he?

Paul: Um . . . No, he's not.

The Walrus: *slightly annoyed.* Stop talking about me like I'm not here!

John: Sorry about that. First question, do you know the Eggman?

The Walrus: No, actually we're just good friends.

George: *snorts.*

Ringo: He's a cheeky one, isn't he?

Paul: You're not going to seriously answer the question?

The Walrus: I thought I did. We're good friends!

John: You weren't quoting anything?

The Walrus: No.

George: We can't win with this one. Next question, are you friends with John?

The Walrus: Which one is John?

Paul, George, and Ringo: *point at John.*

The Walrus: Him??? I've never seen him in my life!

Ringo: *whispers to John.* Is it just me, or this walrus annoying?

John: *whispers back.* It's not just you.

Ringo: Okay, next: are you really Paul and is Paul really you?

The Walrus: What?

Paul: *face-palm.*

George: Why did we ask him to be on this show?

John: Here, let me break it down. Are you really this guy? *gestures to Paul.* And is he really you? Like, are you the same person?

The Walrus: Well, we're both here, aren't we?

Ringo: He has a point.

George: *nodding.* He does.

Paul: *shaking his head.* Why do I do this?

John: Because you're getting paid.

Paul: Oh, that's right. Mr. Walrus, what's your favorite color?

The Walrus: That's a bit random, don't you think?

Paul: Just answer the question.

The Walrus: Well . . . if I had to say my favorite color, I'd go with hot pink.

George and Ringo: *giggling.*

John: Oh?

The Walrus: Pink is such a bright and lovely color, don't you think?

Paul: *whispers to John.* I think he's pulling our chains.

John: *whispers back.* What makes you think that?

Paul: *continues to whisper.* Have you not listened to any of his answers?

Ringo: Last question, are you familiar with the Monkees?

The Walrus: The animals?

Ringo: I should have seen this coming.

George: Yep.

Paul: No, they're a band.

The Walrus: Oh. So . . . are you the Monkees?

John: Seriously?

Ringo: We're the Beatles.

The Walrus: Why so many animal bands?

George: You don't even know who we are, but you agreed to be on the show?

The Walrus: I had nothing going on this weekend and I thought it'd be fun.

Paul: It was nice having you, Mr. Walrus.

The Walrus: I wish I could say the same to you. *waddles off the stage.*

John: He's a clean one, isn't he?

Ringo: Very clean.

George: Now we're going to have Eleanor Rigby!

Eleanor: *sits down across from them.*

Paul: *winks.* Hello, Miss.

Ringo: Why are you so lonely?

Eleanor: I don't have any friends or family.

John: What about Father McKenzie? He's your friend, right?

Eleanor: We're actually worst enemies.

Paul: Really?!?

Eleanor: He's not a very kind man. He keeps to himself.

George: I see.

John: So . . . just wondering . . . how many cats do you have?

Eleanor: Why do you assume I own cats?

Paul: He's obsessed with cats.

Ringo: And you seem like a crazy cat lady.

Paul: *elbows him in the ribs and smiles at Eleanor.* Don't mind him.

Eleanor: I have seven, to be exact.

George: That's a lot of cat litter.

John: *chuckles.*

Paul: Last question, when are you free to take some tea with me?

Ringo: Paul!

George: *disgusted.* Seriously, Paul?

John: Yeah, Paul!

Paul: *defensive.* Well, she's lonely!

Ringo: *sings.* If you're lonely, you can talk to me!

Paul: Hey, I asked her out. Stop trying to steal her, Richard.

Ringo: I wasn't trying to "steal" anything. I was just singing.

George: Loosen up, Paul.

John: Yeah, Paul!

Eleanor: I don't know what to say.

Paul: Say yes.

George: *rolls his eyes.* That's not pushy at all.

Ringo: Nope.

John: Yeah, Paul!

Paul: *glares at him.* Will you quit saying that?

John: No, Paul!

Eleanor: I don't like tea.

Paul: Coffee?

Eleanor: Only if it's decaf.

Paul: Deal.