With My Last Breath

Chapter 1

Nothing feels the same after you've lost the person you loved the most...nothing on Earth could ever take away the pain or even come close to making you feel slightly better...I guess I'm in between the phases of denial and acceptance after everything. I mean, after hearing your father get murdered while you can only stand there helpless, it's gonna mess with you pretty badly...I wish I could go so far as to say that things eventually got better, but it didn't. The only thing that changed was my mom getting married to a guy named Axel a month after everything happened.

The day was starting out the same as it usually does when I have school. Mom and Axel were downstairs fighting over the usual stressors; money, me, and my brother Jack going away to law school down in Florida. Today was his last day of school and he wanted to take me with him just so I could get away from this place, but no matter how much he begged and pleaded the college wouldn't allow it; he had even gone so far as to bring in videos and pictures of the damage Mom and Axel had done to the both of us...but it didn't seem to phase them at all. Jack is my rock and I don't want him to go but if he didn't it would only keep him from achieving his degree; he was also going to try and find a way to get me out of here sooner than later.

I groaned as I looked over at the clock. There wasn't much use in avoiding the long day ahead of me any longer so I crawled out of bed and made my way to the shower to clean away the dried blood that covered my body. Axel was a serious alcoholic and wasn't a good one. His empty bottles either made it to one of the downstairs walls or he would find something I did wrong and smash it on me as a punishment; some days it was just because he didn't feel like actually throwing the bottle at the walls. A few of the other marks I had were some of my own doing...I know, I shouldn't make it worse but it somehow made me feel like I was back in control of my life for a short time...

I grabbed the soap once I felt the hot water touch my skin and began to gently rub it in, sighing as the blood came off easier than it had last time and it wasn't too painful today. The gashes and bruises were easy enough to hide in school, but the ones I had been caught doing myself, Axel would make sure everyone saw them; he had even gone so far once to point them out to people when we went out to places. That's around the time I stopped going outside and how Jack and Mom found out I was doing it at all.

Mom had actually tried to help me once she found out but Axel wouldn't let her, so Jack did everything he possibly could to make sure I didn't die on him. He helped me to not do it as much and made sure that even if I did I wouldn't be losing too much blood at once. I had actually almost succeeded in stopping completely until I got the news that Jack had been accepted into college. I didn't have the heart to tell him that though just in case it made him want to change his mind about going to school...

Once I had stepped out of the shower, a refreshing cool breeze swept across my body making me slightly shiver. I grabbed my bandages and cleaning supplies and began to clean the cuts to keep them from getting infected or from opening up more and spilling blood everywhere. I had had that happen once before in school but luckily no one really noticed and I was able to clean it up in time to keep it from showing through my clothes. Once everything was cleaned, I pulled on my clothes and grabbed the work clothes I needed since I had to go to work right after school. The walk from my school to the coffee shop was almost an hour long, but it gave me the time I needed to unwind and clear my head of everything that has happened.