With My Last Breath

Chapter 5 *Ashton*

I sat in the parking lot waiting. I didn't know what I was waiting for but anything would have been better than what was happening now. Looking at the building in front of me I felt sick; I hadn't been here for at least two years and didn't exactly want to be back, but it didn't seem like I had a choice. She was up there in that room waiting for me and I had already agreed to this; too late to back out now. Stepping out of the car I made my way into the hotel to the elevator and pushing the button for the top floor. I knew this place almost as much as I knew my own house as well as where the room was. Despite going at a normal speed for an elevator, it seemed as though time was dragging on purpose just to make this harder than it should have been.

I should have just said no to the whole thing and told her to go back home but instead I let my damn emotions get the better of me yet again. I wanted so badly to forget about her and move on with my life, to meet someone that I was sure would never hurt me again; but something about her kept pulling me back every single time. Maybe I was weak for believing things could be talked about and fixed. Walking off the elevator my mind had a sudden moment of absolute clarity; no matter how badly I wanted this to work it was never going to be the same again. The love that I had for her at one point was gone and the trust was completely broken; we could never be together again. Not in this lifetime anyway.

I managed to knock twice before the door flew open. Her eyes were red and her makeup ran down her face from crying. I didn't doubt for a moment that my eyes probably were in the same messed up condition.

"You actually came," she whispered. "I didn't think you would."

"I wanted to say no; I didn't wanna be here right now," my voice sounded harsher than I had meant for it to be.

She nodded. "I understand; I just figured this was something we needed to talk about face to face."

"How did you even get here?"

"When I had gotten off the phone with you the first time I was already getting on the plane. I had to see you again, Ash. Come inside so we can talk."

I nodded, following her into the room we had shared once before. Everything still looked the same as it had before; the only real change was the circumstances. Her bags were tossed in a corner of the room along with the leather jacket she loved to wear whenever she went out. It had always been one of my favorites. She sat down on the couch in the center of the room, motioning for me to join her. I could already feel my body ready to break down completely, fall into her arms once again and pretend this had all been just a dream. Once I sat down next to her, it didn't take long for her to break into tears.

"I know what you and your family think of me," she started. "I never should have done any of the things I did to you; you never deserved it for a moment. You were nothing but good to me and I treated you like trash and slept with your brother while engaged to you. I know it doesn't seem like it but I always loved you, Ashton, and I still do. If I could go back in time and change what I did I would in a heartbeat but I can't. It was never about the money to me like it was to Daddy, I really wanted to be with you out of love!"

"Veronica," I whispered. "You will always have a place in my heart, but, you can't expect things to go back to the way they were when you broke my heart. I trusted you and obviously that was a mistake. I can't even put into words how much I wanna break down right now and say that everything will be okay because I know that's just a lie people tell when they aren't ready to face the truth. We had something amazing at one point in time and I honestly thought that we would be together until one of us died first. I would've given you everything, but you went and slept with my brother."

Her mouth opened slightly before closing again, trying to find something to say when she knew she couldn't; there really wasn't anything left to be said. We both knew it was over. Why we kept torturing ourselves like this was something I'd probably only understand late in life, but it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.