Fall ❈ Benny Rodriguez

i. you

CHAPTER ONE!
YOU　THE 1975

　

　

THE FAMILIAR ROADS sent shards of warmth into my heart. The sight nearly hurt, I was so happy.

　Luke sped down the highway, positively beaming. His skin seemed to glow with joy, and I would be surprised if I didn't look the same way, because finally I was home sweet home. Even if I had grown up in Tennessee, California seemed to hold most of my dearest memories.

　"Liz is going to shit herself," Luke laughed.

　A similar laugh escaped my throat. "I can't believe you want to surprise everyone. They'll think they've seen a ghost."

　"Ghosts," Luke corrected, "plural. You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

　"Of course not!" The thought of seeing the boys' incredulous faces forced a grin onto my face. "I love surprises. And surprising people."

　Luke glanced briefly at me, eyes twinkling, before turning his eyes back onto the road. "I can't wait to see her," he sighed, his smile lessening, but somehow warmer than the others.

　I opened my mouth, with the intention of mentioning Benny—and closed it. Benny no longer seemed to care for me; if he had, then he probably would have texted me at least once in the past few months.

　After a lengthy moment of silence, I finally spoke. "I can't wait to see everyone. They've all grown so much, the boys. Smalls...I don't think I should call him 'Smalls' anymore. He's so big."

　Luke choked back his laughter. "I know you didn't mean it that way, but you sound like a real creep."

　My smile returned, and I smacked Luke's chest. "Shut up. Idiot."

　Utterly unbothered, Luke laughed and cried, "Oh, I can't wait to see her!"

　Of course, I was happy for Luke, happy for his happiness, but at the same time it sort of made me uncomfortable. Envy—that was what I felt. And fear.

　By the time the cul-de-sac rose into view, my heart had swollen dangerously. At any moment I would burst. Especially when, a few houses down from my former and current home, I spotted a familiar boy.

　Smalls hauled a full bag of trash toward a red bin, nose crinkled in disgust. Luke passed him, but before he could go any further, I demanded that he stop.

　The car rolled to a stop, and I turned to smile at Luke. "Smalls. I'm going to say hi."

　My brother returned the smile. "Have fun."

　I jumped out of the car, and he continued down the road. My eyes briefly scanned the area; not much had changed. Not my house or Benny's, and the sight tightened my throat.

　Before Smalls could disappear into his home, I jogged to meet him. He was now struggling to lift the bag and drop it into the bin, head turned away. He looked as though he might throw up.

　"Jesus," I said, stepping into Smalls' yard, "what's in there?"

　The bag tumbled from his hands, landing not-so-neatly into the bin. Smalls turned to look at me, with a blank but slightly surprised expression. For a moment, I feared that he had forgotten me. And then his face lit up like a Christmas tree, albeit confused.