Fall ❈ Benny Rodriguez

xxii. echoes of mine

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO!
ECHOES OF MINE　M83

　

　

HEARTBEAT RAGING, I did as the doctor asked. She had first instructed me to pee in a cup, and shortly after she confirmed what I already knew: I was pregnant.

　The doctor was plump and blonde and had kind eyes; still, she was only making me more nervous with her questions.

　Is this your first baby?

　Are you excited?

　What do you want? A boy or a girl?

　It seemed odd that she would ask me these things, but I answered as calmly as possible. Yes, this was my first baby. I lied about the excitement part—I said kind of, but I was actually terrified. And the gender did not matter: I wanted both.

　The doctor brought us into a small, almost cramped, dark room. Beside the plush table I settled upon, thin paper crinkling beneath me, was a computer screen atop a cart. She pulled out a drawer in the cart containing a keyboard and typed away. There was one chair beside the table that Luke claimed, so Benny had to pull up the other chair from the corner of the room. They watched the computer screen, looking slightly uneasy, slightly anticipative. A television rested against the wall just ahead of me, so I could easily watch as the doctor punched in my name and birthday.

　Finally, after what felt like ages but seconds at the same time, the doctor turned to face me. She flashed a soft smile and said, "Could you lift your shirt for me?"

　My hands and arms shook when I did so, tugging my t-shirt as high as it could go without revealing my bra. The boys seemed to notice, because they reached for me at the same time. Luke's hand curled around my elbow when I put my arm back down, and Benny took my hand in his; both of their grips were firm and comforting.

　The doctor squirted cold jelly onto my skin, and then placed some sort of wand on it. With it, she smeared the jelly over my stomach, her eyes on the screen. On the television, I could see weird dark shades moving around, and then—

　A noise cut through the quiet, a quick and steady beat. Both boys' hands tightened on me, but not even they could ease the choked feeling in my throat, the burning behind my eyes.

　"There's your baby," the doctor practically squealed. "Here's the head; here's the little arms; the little hands..."

　In the effort to hold back tears, all I could manage was a nod along. It was so overwhelming, hearing another human's heartbeat inside of me—even if the body parts, to me, were relatively unidentifiable.

　While the doctor pointed out the baby's lungs, I glanced to my left. Luke, still holding onto my arm, was staring at the screen in wonder and, admittedly, looked slightly as though he might be sick. Benny, however, was watching the screen with ill-veiled awe, stars swimming in his eyes. He caught me looking at him, and a grin spread across his face—and it was the purest, most innocent look in the world.

　Several emotions overwhelmed me at once, and I felt my own mouth rising into an uncontrollable smile, at the same time the first tear of joy fell.

　

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