Saving Insanity

Chapter 13: Lurking in the Shadows

The clatter of my wine glass slapping back against the marble was the first sound heard throughout the day. The sun had risen, India and I had both disappeared and returned, and now the sun had soared across the sky and was quickly falling back out of sight.

India stood against the wall, her wine glass in hand as she sucked back the red liquid. Benin sat diagonal from me, his hands clasped in front of him as his eyes stared at the condensation dripping down his beer bottle. India has decided to stay home for the night. Her bar hopping seemed of no interest to her as she swirled her drink in the crystal glass.

"So this is it, is it?" my old friend's words were almost ice, like she wanting them to freeze my heart until it stopped cold.

I slid my wine glass further from where I sat, "This is it?"

She scoffed, "What else do you plan on doing? Pulling the carpet right out from under Bahrain? That man is powerful, Ireland, and after him, you have the rest of the government. They will not hesitate to blow your brains out. They could not care less whether their little ex-sorter convict is dead or alive."

"So we just give up?" I asked. The question came quick, so quick that India's eyes widened. She shook her head slowly, "I do not know what else you plan to do."

"Can we not hope?"

She let out a scoff, "Hope will not carry you through life, Ireland. Have you learned that yet or did sitting in front of your computer screen cause you to miss that message? Those children hope," she enounced the word slowly, "They hope, they pray, every ounce of hope they ever thought possible shows itself. Yet where does that child end up? Staring through god damn boards in an Institution!"

"I have learned!" I stood up, the speed of the gesture causing my chair to flip back onto its side. "But hope is what drives you. Hope lets you see the light at the end of the tunnel and allows you to figure out how to get there, no matter what it takes."

I was standing in front of her now. Her eyes meeting mine, our chins high, our shoulders tense. "Then what does it take?" she whispered.

"Courage." I stepped back, "Do you know what courage is, India? Because it isn't lying within the bottom of your wine glass or sitting on top of the bar counter."

She threw her glass to the floor, creating a loud shatter. The shreds catapulted across the floor with the wine itself pooling at our feet. "You think I want to help you?" she shot, her voice booming, "You think that I give a shit about who sits in a tiny room or who sits out here living in a fairy tale world? Because I don't," she lifted her finger, pointing it directly at me, "Your stupid games have gotten me nowhere in the fifteen years that I have been riding your coattails. I have no interest in following you to my grave."

Her eyes met mine for a brief second before she stepped over the shattered glass, her shoulder bumping against mine. The door slammed behind her, and she was gone. My head dropped, my eyes scanning against the glass shards. I put a hand to my mouth and took in a short breath.

"What is her problem?"

I looked at Benin to find him looking at me, his expression confused. "She's lost," I said. I bent down and began carefully picking up the broken glass. My eyes blurred as Benin walked over to where I knelt, his hands grabbing onto my shoulders, "I got it."

I straightened, cupping my mouth before I stepped out of the kitchen. My fingers lashed across my cheeks to wipe my tears before I reached for my coat. I slipped it over my shaking body and stepped out into the night. India was nowhere to be seen. My feet carried me across the wet pavement, reminding me that it had just been raining.