Doomed

chapter 3

For the remainder of my first night, I stayed hidden away in my room, dwelling on dark thoughts that I would be scolded for if people were aware. I learned every inch of the wall that my bed was pressed against, scanning it over as my mind swirled with thoughts and memories better left untouched, and yet I kept pushing at them, finding the mental pain was easier to handle than the throbbing in my skull and the dull ache in my chest. I had coped with mental pain from a young age, when I had began to see the hallucinations and delusions, the reasons for why my father had abandoned my family and I.

I spent most of the next day like that as well, sprawled out on my bed, wondering how long I could pretend not to exist before being drawn back to reality. Sadly, basic human needs eventually won out, and I had to draw myself out of bed for the bathroom and food. I tiptoed out of my room, biting down hard on my lip, glancing around to check for anyone. When I found that the coast was clear, I fully stepped out of the room, starting down the hall for the bathroom.

I paused at the bathroom door, glancing down the hall. Voices met my ears from somewhere deeper in the house, and I found myself wondering who exactly was home at the moment. I shook off those thoughts, deciding to do what needed to be done then return to my room. I only had so much time to put myself back together before I had to start school in a couple of weeks with the boys.

When I reached the corner before the kitchen, I leant against the wall, holding my breath as I attempted to see if there was anyone in there at the moment. Tilting my head, listening closely, I came to the conclusion that the kitchen was void of inhabitants and safe to enter, which was a relief since my stomach wouldn't stop grumbling. I inhaled deeply, as if that could prepare myself to walk into the kitchen where I might potentially run into someone I didn't want to speak to.

I forced myself to move my feet and enter the kitchen, desperate for food at that point. I paused in the middle of the kitchen, looking around and frowning as it dawned upon me that I had no idea where anything was. My head dropped forward and I let out a small sigh, tears of frustration forming in my eyes. I had never cried a lot until recently; ever since my family died, I felt like all I did was cry.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing looking so sad?"

My head jerked up at the sound of a male voice speaking to me, and I took a step back as an automatic reaction. I had never met this boy before and this was somehow worse than it being one of the boys I had met before. I probably would have been able to handle Mik and even Landon, but a new person wasn't something I was in the right mind state for at the moment.

I looked him over, taking a moment to try to a get feel on him before I answered. He was handsome too, of course. He had brown hair, brushed away from his face with some strands falling over his forehead in an endearing way. His green eyes were peering at me curiously, lit up with interest, though I was sure he had to already know who I was if he lived there. He was shorter than the other boys, maybe around Mik's height, but fit as well.

I swallowed and instead of saying hi like I had originally intended, I said, "Food."

He blinked at me, his lips turning up at the corners. "Excuse me?"

"Um," a blush heated my cheeks and I felt like running back to my room and never coming out again. "I... I need food, but I don't know where anything is..."

"Food? Are you hungry, Nyx?" Mik had once again popped up, coming out of nowhere. He had done that the day before as well, though I had been in such an emotional turmoil that I didn't think to question it. As much as I wanted to question it now, my stomach growled again and I pushed my curiosity aside, deciding food was more important.

"Um, yeah," I admitted quietly, ducking my head down, observing my feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world to me at the moment. "I haven't had anything to eat yet today..."