Doomed

chapter 4

The morning of my fourth day at the house, I had dared to exit my cave again, mostly for food and coffee, the smell of it beckoning me from the safety of my room. I tried to slip around the boys unnoticed, but the moment I walked into the room, all eyes were on me. Heart stuttered, came to a stop, then picked up again, and I forced myself to act casual as I maneuvered around them, collecting bacon, eggs, and coffee.

In the midst of trying to balance everything and head back to my room, I was caught off guard by Landon. His face was a lit up with a smile and I squinted at him, wondering what he could possibly be so happy about at this time in the morning. There was not a damn good thing about mornings and if he thought so then I wanted to know what drugs he was on so I could get some too. I shifted foot to foot, waiting to see if he wanted something.

"So," he said and I grinded my teeth despite the pain that sliced through my jaw. If he would cut to the point, I could disappear in my room quicker. "The guys and I are going out with a couple of our friends tonight. Would you like to come with us? At least then you'd know some people at school, and who knows, you might even like them. Or us. It would be nice if you liked us too, because we can be good friends as well."

I tilted my head, cocking an eyebrow, the urge to smile becoming prevalent. "You're rambling," I told him, shifting the coffee mug in my hand as it had become too hot against my palm.

His cheeks flushed red and I bit my lip to keep from giggling. I hadn't talked much with Landon, but he seemed sweet and if I was going to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, it would have to be him or Mik. If he had sent Isaiah or Jase to ask me, it would have ended poorly, but his honest rambling had done something to sway my heart. His unfiltered thoughts on how he wanted me to have friends had warmth bubbling up inside of me and it was near impossible for me to say no now.

"Okay," I replied before he could start talking again. I liked hearing him ramble, but I also liked food and I would take a bite out of him if he didn't let me go eat. "I'll go with you guys tonight. What time?"

His deep blue eyes lit up with joy, causing my lips to quirk up some in response. I didn't know why, but I enjoyed putting that look on his face.

"Seven. We're leaving at seven. I'll send Mik to your room for you," he rushed out, rubbing the back of his neck. I brought my coffee mug up, hiding the smile that had formed and the giggle that nearly burst through.

"Great. Seven it is then." I recollected my food and shot him a small smile over my shoulder as I headed back down the hall to the refuge of my room. Once the door had swung shut, I sunk onto my bed and ducked my head down, letting out a slow sigh. "You, Onyx Blakely, are a true dumbass."

I pretended that the silence that reverberated through the room was an agreement to my statement.

***

My eyes darted between the time on my alarm clock and my reflection in the mirror. For a crazy person, I didn't look half bad. Landon hadn't given me much of a clue as to what we were doing, resulting in me just throwing something casual on, something I would wear when I went out with my old friends; a black Guns n Roses T-shirt, cut and tied off at the bottom, ripped dark wash jeans, and converse. My dark brown hair fell around my face in it's usual loose waves, ending beneath my shoulders. I accentuated my dark eyes with eyeliner, but hadn't gone full out with any makeup.

I could have passed for mildly pretty.

I'd gotten ready an hour earlier, giving myself time to obsess over my appearance and my decision to go out with friends at all, if they could even be considered my friends. After all, I hadn't been the warmest person when I arrived and most of my time had been spent hidden, typing out texts to my father and Annie, only to delete them and dwell on my past.