Penthouse Passion [l.s]

ten

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I don't bump into harry for a few hours, and we're minding our own business in our own rooms for the most part. Around supper time, however, my growling stomach takes me to the kitchen where, of course, harry happens to be. I roll my eyes and curse under my breath at my bad luck. He hears my light footsteps and turns around to give me a smile. I don't return the favor though. I just stand there looking dumb.

Why is he acting like I'm okay with this though? Like everything is fine.

"Lou-" he tries but I cut him off,
"It's Louis to you." He seems taken aback and sets down the spoon he was previously using to stir pasta.
"What's wrong love?" He asks which frustrates me even more. When will he stop flirting with me? Didn't he get the hint already; we cannot do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to get attached.

"What's wrong? Are you serious? Well to start off, those names you keep calling me needs to stop. I'm not your love and we're not close enough of friends for you to be calling me Lou. I never wanted to get moved up here. Quite frankly, I was fine before this happened. Then we get put together and all of a sudden my life changes drastically and I think for the worse. So just stop," I half yell and to be quite honest I was shocked at what came out of my mouth. I regretted it the second I finished. I don't know where it came from. Secretly, I really love him calling me nicknames and I really love his food and I really love being around him and I'm actually really happy we got put into this amazing penthouse together.

He's silent for a few seconds and I look away trying to avoid the tension. I feel guilty and I'm afraid of what he might say.

"Okay," his voice is quiet and sounding almost distant, "Louis, I didn't know you felt so strongly that way." I look up at him and he's no longer smiling, in fact, he looks nowhere close to happy; it makes me feel worse for what I said. I want to tell him I don't feel that way but I don't have it in me, not even to apologize. "If you feel that way.. we can pretend each other don't exist and mind our own business if that's what you want." In my head a million thoughts were racing around but I knew that that really wasn't what I wanted. "Sorry you were put here with me as your roommate, you'd be lucky to have anyone else." And with that he turns around and continues stirring his now boiling pot of spaghetti.

The mood of the room has suddenly changed from awkward tension to complete solemn silence. Before having a chance to think my mouth opens, "Harry, that's not what I meant." I regret being so cruel towards him and I know it's not true what I said. I guess I was trying to prove that I don't care- or maybe I was trying to prove to myself that I don't care and I'm not head over heels for this man. I'm honestly so confused and my emotions are all fucked up.

He doesn't say anything and moves the pot over to the sink where he pours the pasta into the strainer. I stand there suddenly feeling like a lost little child not knowing where he is or what to say. I just stand there looking at his back where he's not even acknowledging me as he continues what he was doing before I bothered him.

"I think you did louis," he doesn't make eye contact as he brushes past me with his plate of food and makes his way up the stairs. And with that he's gone.

I don't move, hell, I can't move. I continue to stare where he was standing only 10 seconds ago. I look over at the pot of pasta and don't dare to touch it. I feel like I'm forbidden to even look at it; he always let me eat his food and he cooked for me too, but if I were to eat it now it would somehow feel so wrong.