Chapter 0 | Where it begins
"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings."
-Lao Tzu
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A canvas is a strong and coarse fabric closely woven together which is often used for many purposes; but for me, it is the material on which a painting is made...because I am a painter.
Some say that my story begins after I met Shai though I would like to differ as I believe my story begins here.
Back when I was still a naive little kid oblivious to the cruel society, my vision of the world being all rainbows and unicorns came crashing down right before my eyes and I could do nothing to stop it but watch. I watched my father commit adultery, I watched my mother go mental and I watched them slowly break down. The bond we once had now loosened into its own individual strings instead of closely woven.
The terrifying thing about that chapter wasn't my father committing adultery nor our family tumbling downhill. It was the fact that I watched them suffer from abuse and it affects me too.
I remember clearly just falling into depression. Everything felt so numb and empty like there was no reason to live anymore and then for the first time, I cut. Cutting definitely started an addiction I could not stop. It was as if I was on drugs.
My whole life was simply out of control and it was all so dark that I thought there was no more space left for more to happen. But time heals and instead of the canvas being filled with even more dark colours, the brighter ones took over bit by bit.
It has been almost 4 years since all of this took place and now, the scars I once had were barely visible on my arm. Now, what was once there is fading away as time passes and the wound heals.
Many would think that by now it should be all okay. That this was now a thing of the past but no, it lingers on to this day. The effects still taking place because it changed me and the way I looked at others, forever.
The story doesn't end here. It continues as I try to help myself out of this misery. The world never waits for anyone and I had to catch up; with the rest of the world.
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