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03

Chapter 3| Disturbing Past

"Feelings don't die easily because we keep feeding them with memories."

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For whatever it is that happened that day, -maybe the stress from school-I had the worst sleep that night.

"Please don't leave me alone!" I pleaded, voice sounding desperate and high pitched.

My mum stood at the door looking distressed and all alone. "Everything will be a fine sweetheart, I'll be back before you know it."

She was lying through her teeth, I knew it, I could sense it. But I pushed it to the back of my head and nodded, letting her slip away just like that.

Everything soon became a blur but there was something that was clear, the sense of fear.

Next thing I knew, piercing screams, cries and shouts could be heard. The surrounding walls transformed into a brand new one with different structures I didn't quite recognize. Clothes were strewn about in all different directions and there was only one room with its door closed. The source of the noise, my parent's room.

They were abusive...

Waking up in a cold sweat is not very fun. I gasp for air as my lungs struggled with breathing and I could feel the warm salty tears start to stream down my cheeks. My head ached so bad it felt like it was about to explode. Everything felt fuzzy and the only thing I could concentrate on was the thought of my parent's fighting and silent pleas. Although time was still going at its same constant speed, to me, my world was spinning like there was something out there to get me. Yet, all I could do was sit in bed crying, listening to my pounding heart, taking in as many deep breaths as I can, trying to calm myself down while I hug my pillow tighter.

When I finally settled down, my mind was already floating far away but nothing came out of it. It was just a blank empty space. Laying back in bed, I couldn't sleep. Though, as night falls darker, I have carried away into a slumberland, one that was much more peaceful than the last I saw.

That dream goes back to when I was 12 years old. This is the first time in 4 years that I've had a nightmare about this. I wonder what could have triggered it.

Lugging myself out of bed when early morning fell, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, frowning. I lifted my shirt and pinched the sluggish fat around my tummy, wrapping my hands around my thin wrists.

I proceeded to the dining table for my breakfast after brushing my teeth. Though, I ended up skipping breakfast entirely. One meal can't kill me. I didn't feel like eating anyway.

Throwing on a random sweatshirt and jeans, I arrived at school again, bidding my mum and dad goodbye.

Let the story begin...

That morning I decided to head straight for class, not bothered with meeting Reine since we would be doing so in lunch anyways. The first lesson of the day today was Math. It would be with a completely new set of different classmates and a new teacher so I was nervous, to say the least.

Surprisingly when I entered, someone was already there. Usually, the class would be empty at this timing since they would be loitering about, having fun talking to their friends before heading for lessons. Even the teacher was not present yet, it was that early.

He didn't seem to notice me as I hesitantly decided to sit next to him, thinking it would be awkward if I chose any other seat only for him to think I was a social outcast or something, in which I sort of already was but...you get the point. First impressions matter.

It was only when I took up the courage after a long moment of silence to speak that he realised somebody else was in the room with him.

"Hi! I'm Kira, how about you?" I gave him a small timid smile.

He jumped a little at my voice, reaching his arm out to clutch at his chest where his heart would be, scrunching the material of his hoodie.

"Gosh, you scared me. Nice to meet you again Kira," he said, returning a smile.

"Oh, Aiden. How have you been? I couldn't quite recognize you since your head was down. I assume you must be sleepy. You look much thinner than before too." I remarked whilst playfully nudging him with my elbow, tone sarcastic.

Aiden was an old friend of mine during freshman year. We slowly parted after we moved on to sophomore year and I haven't been in a class with him since.

"Been good, thanks. I hope you're doing well too." Aiden spoke and for a moment I thought I saw sadness in his eyes.

"I am," I replied, letting the words sink in before doubting myself once again.

It was awfully awkward afterwards as silence slowly filled the room. Aiden and I both shared similar backgrounds with our childhood. Both coming from a rather broken family. Luckily for me, my parents managed to patch up and even though it may just be for me, I'm thankful for that.

Aiden, on the other hand, wasn't as fortunate. His parents got divorced from when he was a little kid and it must have affected him a lot because he went through a phase of depression after that. Now, he switches between his mums' place and his dads' place every week. I can't imagine how difficult he has it, having to take on all these emotions to himself. I suppose that was how Aiden and I became closer as well, just having someone who understands where you're coming from.

As we pretended to be busy with our own work, 10 minutes passed and students began to file in one by one. I didn't pay much attention to them, thinking they were all going to be normal students I wouldn't recognize since none of my friends has told me we had the same Math period. Then the one person I didn't want to see appeared again.

Shai entered the classroom and as he scanned for a place to seat, our eyes met for a split second before he gave me a small smile then proceeding to take the spot nearest to me. Coincidentally or perhaps by luck, the seats in the middle column were arranged in threes and I just so happened to be seated amongst one of these.