I'm sat in their dressing room pondering around, running my fingers along to cold marble-top dressing table. They have such a perfect life. I look up at the mirror which covered the entire wall and flinch back. Damn i look a mess. I know Blake said he'll take me shopping tomorrow but for now i have to deal with hair in a messy bun and minimal makeup which is revealing my tiredness. I slump back down on the sofa and seconds later i hear a knock on the door. Do i say come in? Do they know its me in here? "Yep" is all i could piece together in a panic. Dean enters to let me know they're on and to follow him.
"It's my first arena concert you know" i spark a conversation whilst racing down a long, narrow corridor.
"Oh really? Well, you're going to get the best seats in the house tonight!" He smiles, pulling open the stage door for me. I thank him and take a seat on top of an unplugged speaker and peer behind the stage curtain so fans don't see me, but i can see all 18,000 of them.
"Enjoy the show, if you need anyone, Joe is the other side of the stage, follow the curtain behind and you can get you him" he smiles before disappearing into the sea of phone lights to record their show.
Blake's team are genuinely lovely people. They don't know anything about me yet they treat me like royalty. This is a life i could get used to but i don't want to be a burden. The time will come when my future is decided - i can't rush it.
They're halfway through their set and i am having the time of my life. I feel a small, light hand on my shoulder. I turn to face this figure and realise it's Joe.
"Can we go back to the dressing room? I'd like to talk to you" he half-smiles and leads me to the room.
We take a seat opposite to each other and my hands begin to sweat.
"So, i wanted to talk to you about Blake." Right okay. I can handle this. "Are you two a, you know, a thing?"
"Oh no no, not at all. We're friends at the moment. He's helped me out a lot and i'm trying to seek the right time to pay him back for all he's done"
"Mmhmmm, i've been told to let the driver know to stop by a shopping centre to get you a wardrobe of clothes?"
"I thought it was a couple of outfits?"
"Yes, that's where it's complicated. With the tour dates being so close together and getting further from your hometown, we're not going to have time to take you home. I'll need the number of someone in your household and i'm willing to pitch in £200 for your clothes and anything else you need" he hands over a bunch of notes and my hands freeze into place.
"I can't take that Joe! Thankyou so much, its very kind of you but thats too much!!"
"No no, don't be silly. Your a part of us now and we all look after each other. Now take it - you deserve a treat" he pulls me in for a hug and i put the money safely in my front pocket. We sit back down and begin talking about how he came to find his career.
Time flew by and before we knew it, 3 sweaty boys were bursting through the door. Blake grabs my hand and pulls me out the door.
"I need a coffee" he exclaims.
"How was it?" I question whilst waiting for the cup to fill.
"It was amazing! Tour life is the one for me. I love it. The crowd screaming and singing back, it really gets my energy going. Thankyou for being here" he smiles and moves closer to my face.
"Not that i had much choice, i mean, i'm miles from home and i can't hitchhike my way back can i" we giggle. His face twitching closer to time. His eyes taking me away from reality.
DING DING DING. DING DING DING. The coffee cup overflows begins to pour on the floor. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. EVERY TIME. I mentally scream to the world. We both rush to get a janitor before heading back to the bus.
I lay my head on Blake's lap and he runs his warm fingers through my hair. I'm not going to let him slip away.
"Goodnight my love" he whispers, bending over to kiss my forehead - and with the touch of his lips on my skin, i drift into a darkness.
Goodnight B
