[OLD] Dragon Ball X Child! Reader One-Shots (Requests Closed)

*Crack shot* Freakin' everyone X Reader

(A/N:If you thought my other one-shots were weird, you're in for a big surprise. And trust me, there will be Memes, possible cuss words, and very terrible grammar and spelling included in this story. (P.S. Not everyone will be in here.) And sorry if this confuses anyone. I made the story like this so it would be different from my other one-shots.)

"Remember (name). If any of those dirty humans touch you, beat the fuck outta them." Your dad told you as you walked to some random place.

":( Okay..." You mumbled sadly. You didn't want to hurt the mortals. One of them gave you a heckin' cookie and doggo that last time you were here...

And your dad is Black Goku, so you know he's gonna be TRIGGERED if you don't kill a Hooman. But before your dad could say anything else, you were snatched up by someone who flew away after they picked you up. "my chILD!" black exclaimed loudly.

"STFU dad. I'm not your child anymore." You could hear Black let out a cry of pure pain before just falling to the ground. Tragic. The dood that was carrying you finally looked down.

You looked up only to see...Your dad!? Hol' up, what? "Don't worry. I'm not your dad." The man told you, giving you a smile. Dat fudging smile tho. And he was wearin' a orange and blue Gi.

"Okay then, Mr.Manwhosouldadoptmebeacuseheseemsniceandprettycool (man who should adopt me because he seems nice and pretty cool), what's your name?" "It's Goku." He answered.

"Oooohhhh." You mumbled. You looked around when Goku landed only to spot a...doggo. Holy heckin' cheese and crackers. You ran up to the dog only to have it snap at you. You frowned  before falling to the ground and curling up into a ball.

Someone else came behind you and picked up your curled-up form. "That's Vegeta. He was once a Saiyan but got turned into a dog a while back." Again. Tragic.

"WhO aRe YoU?" You asked the man. "I'm," The man proudly said, pointing to himself. "SSJ4 Gogeta." "That name sounds non-canon." You told him. "Non what?" The man seemed confused as to what that was.

"Nothin." You told him before some blue haired dood with earrings just popped up outta' nowhere. "Oh look, it's a huge disappointment." Gogeta mumbled but the other man didn't hear him. But you could tell the two of them had beef with each other so you got out of Gogeta's grip and ran off.

You ran into the woods only to be picked up again by...your dad's fused self, Merged Zamasu. You looked up at him before asking "Do you know da way?" He looked down at you with a frown. "What? Those humans have already ruined your innocent mind..."

"So...You don't know da way?" You questioned. "No. I don't know this way that you're talking about." Merged told you. "Good. Because it's a dead and terrible meme."

Merged Zamasu was even more confused about what you were talking about. "Alright..." He mumbled before flying into, you guessed it, Frieza.

Let's just say some shiz went down, and you got taken by Frieza. "Why does everyone keep taking me lol." You said out loud.

Frieza looked down at you with mild disgust. Well, he was actually looking at the odd green dragon that was coming out of seven orbs with stars on them. Somehow, someway, the dragon came over, got you, and punched Frieza, conveniently knocking him out. How the dragon was holding you in its small arms was seemingly impossible, but it somehow did it.

The dragon then placed you in Goku's arms. "Ask me a stupid favor like this again," The dragon bellowed. "and I'll make sure to mess it up." It then disappeared back into the orbs before they all scattered somewhere.

Long story short, everyone somehow became your dad or mom and you all lived terribly ever after 'cause you were too innocent for this world. Too pure. And you also accidentally shanked someone.

The end.

(What even is this-)