Losing Control (Destiel)

Two Months

 Two months previously

 “Bobby?” Dean shouted into his phone. He listened as Bobby told him to calm down. He nodded and began speaking slowly. “Yeah. Cas made a deal. He had to! It was one of those things.”

 He fell silent again as Bobby shouted into the phone. Dean turned his tear- stained face towards his brother, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala. He had insisted upon driving because it helped calm his nerves, but it was doing nothing for him this time. He was too shaken up. His hands were shaking as he listened to Bobby's instructions.

 “Yeah. We're on our way now. Can you at least look it up? Hell, I don't know. 'How to Bust an Angel out of Hell: For Dummies?” Dean wasn't mad at Bobby, but he was taking his agitation out on him. He gripped the wheel, causing his knuckles to go white as Bobby gently reminded him that Cas wasn't an angel anymore. “I KNOW THAT, BOBBY.”

 Sam looked over at his brother, wishing he could take his brother's pain away. Dean slammed the phone against the wheel after he hung up and turned to Gabriel.

 “Help me.”

Gabriel nodded slightly as the younger Winchester looked at him with questioning eyes. He then looked at Dean and pursed his lips in thought.

“Let's just get to Bobby's,” Sam suggested before Dean can get any hope. They continue driving for hours. Eventually, they reached Bobby's house. Dean jumped out of the Impala before it came to a full stop and busted through the door.

 “What have you got for me?” Dean demanded the moment he saw Bobby. The older man rubbed his face with one hand as he handed Dean a small stack of papers. Dean shuffled through them. He heard the door slam behind his brother and the remaining angel. He listened as Bobby explained to Sam the only way that they could get the angel back: blood sacrifice. Dean wanted to say that it wasn't an option, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. All he could do was shift through the papers that Bobby had given him. He finally looked up, after what seemed like hours, and stared at Gabe. I need a drink. Gabe nodded and a bottle of whiskey appeared in front of the hunter. The first of hundreds that would come in the next months....

 Now

 “Bobby, you know he won't even consider it!” Sam whisper- yelled at the older man.

 “I ain't askin'.”

 Dean listened in a drunken stupor as the two argued back and forth about how to get Cas back. Gabe was gone to find an angel, or even a demon, to help them bring Cas back as well as save Dean's sanity.

 Dean had begun praying to Cas every day, even though the angel was now human. Sometimes out loud, sometimes without meaning to, but the end result was always the same: tears. And alcohol. No matter how much he drank, though, he never could get drunk to get Cas off his mind.

 What he didn't know, however, was Cas could hear every word in every prayer that Dean prayed. And it hurt worse than the torture his soul was going through. He begged for death every day, and every day he was denied.

 Dean prayed again. Cas, I need you. I love you. Can you do one favor for me? Can you please come back? His eyes filled with tears and he brought the whiskey bottle to his lips. Please? He closed his eyes and considered, not for the first time, ending it all. He drank slowly. I need you, Cas. He grabbed his gun. I love you. He pushed it to his temple. Cas... He pressed his finger onto the trigger.

And, then, he stopped. He opened his eyes and decided on his course of action.

He threw the gun down onto the table and went outside. He ran past Baby and straight down the road. He didn't stop until he came to a crossroad. He slumped down in the exact center and waited. NO one could resist a deal with one of the Winchesters. A moment later, he heard someone coming towards him. He looked up and saw a tall brunette standing over him. She moved to sit down with him and he flinched. She laughed and remained standing.

 “Dean Winchester,” the demon said, his name rolling off her tongue like honey, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

 “I..” Dean broke off when his phone rang. He looked down and saw Sammy's name on the readout. Sorry, Sammy. I love you. “I need to make a deal. Ten years. For Cas.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. You see, that won't do.”

“What, then? Tell me the price and I'll pay it!” Dean was getting upset and his phone was ringing again, again, it was Sam. “Hang on,” he told the demon, “What, Sammy?.... YOU DID WHAT?.... Bobby, too?... I'll be home soon.... NO, don't leave Bobby's.....Yeah....”

 Dean turned to the demon. “Looks like I won't be needing your services, after all.” 

He ran back to Bobby's and slammed through the door.

 “You did what?” Dean demanded the instant he got through the door.

 “Well, we put our heads together and came up with a solution,” Bobby began explaining. Dean went to the fridge and pulled out another bottle of alcohol. He then inclined his head and plopped onto the couch, waiting. Bobby continued, “Sam went first. He tried to make a deal...”

“They wouldn't take it,” Sam jumped in, leaning against the wall beside Bobby.

 “They told him they needed two souls to get Cas. Since he's an ex- angel with all of heaven's information and he has one of the most notorious hunters under his belt,” Bobby smiled feebly at his own attempt at humor, “So, Sam asked whose souls would be worth the angel. They told him it had to be yours or someone else you love. Sam then came home and asked me what to do. I told him we would do whatever it takes for you, Dean. You always do so much for everyone you care about. It was time we gave back.” Bobby broke off with a sob, “Boy, I love you like my own. It was the least I could do.”

Dean leaped up and hugged Bobby. Bobby hugged him back, awkwardly, then pushed him to Sam. He hugged Sam with all the strength he had.

 “When?” Dean whispered, almost as if he was scared of the word. Right then, a billow of black smoke began pouring through the house. Sam reached for his demon knife and Dean pulled out his angel blade. Before either of them could lunge, Gabe appeared out of the smoke with Cas in his arms. 

“Help me,” he told Dean. Dean pulled Cas from Gabe's arms and laid him gently on the floor. Gabe pressed two fingers to the ex- angel's forehead, healing his physical wounds. Cas' eyes fluttered open, getting wide when he saw Dean. He pressed a palm to Dean's cheek.

 “Is it really you?” Cass asked slowly, then braced himself for the 'no' he was sure to come.

 “Yes, Cas, it's me. Oh, God, it's me. I love you, Cas. Are you okay?” Dean pressed his hand over Cas' and looked into his bluer- than- blue eyes. Tears formed in Cas' eyes and he pulled Dean into a bone- crushing hug. Dean hugged him back with just as much force. 

“Can we go to a room?” Cas whispered. Dean nodded and carefully picked the other man up, carrying him to the nearest room: Dean's room while they were looking for a way to get Cas back. Sam had insisted that he stay with Bobby while Cas was gone. Cas flinched visibly when he saw the number of bottles that littered the floor and dresser. Dean blinked as if seeing the room for the first time. He gently laid Cas onto the bed and proceeded to clear the room of any signs of the substance. When he was satisfied, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Cas whimpered, drawing Dean's attention to the fact that the angel was asleep. He laid back, pulling Cas close to him. He curled his body around Cas' and Cas immediately calmed down and snuggled closer to the hunter. Dean smiled, happy for the first time in months. He drifted off without another thought.