BLONDE

YOU'VE PAINTED YOUR FUTURE BUT I'M JUST NOT IN THE PICTURE

JULY 2ND

It was Geoff's birthday.

Awsten and Geoff hadn't talked for roughly a week, though Otto had kept tabs up on the both of them, trying to convince them to talk to each other and have a civil conversation yet the both of them were being stubborn, though for different reasons. They did share one reason in common, however, that being fear.

Geoff was scared to death that he'd snap on Awsten again and he was utterly terrified that he'd lose the boy for good this time if he ever did that again. Geoff didn't want that to happen because he knew there was something special about Awsten, though he didn't know what it was. He just had a feeling in his gut that he was with the right person and he hated himself deeply for screwing it up.

Awsten was terrified of the different scenarios that played throughout his head of the upcoming talk, thinking about every single bad thing that could happen. They could be talking while on a walk and Geoff could get hit by a car while they crossed the road and then Geoff'd be dead and Awsten would've lost the best person he's had in his life (aside from Otto), or perhaps they'd be at the Starbucks across the street and Geoff'd get angry at him and break up with him and throw his hot coffee on him, leaving him with a broken heart and second-degree burns. Or maybe Geoff would turn out to be another person just like Zakk and leave him once he had taken every single piece of life that Awsten had left in him and shatter it in front of his eyes. Awsten knew that Geoff wasn't Zakk and that Zakk wasn't Geoff and that Zakk was gone, but he never was able to get rid of the elusive and privacy-breaching thoughts that still lingered in his mind. Zakk was gone. He was gone. Zakk is not Geoff and Geoff is not Zakk and Zakk is gone. He is gone.

"You know, it's Geoff's birthday today," Otto said nonchalantly to Awsten as the boys were lounging around in their dorm. Awsten was sat on his bed fiddling around with a Rubix cube he had inherited from his little sister, Gracie, and slowly getting frustrated as he couldn't quite figure the damn thing out. Otto, although amused by Awsten's inability to solve the cube, was busy watching videos of My Chemical Romance on YouTube and trying not to cry about their breakup, even though it had already been over four years.

"I didn't forget," Awsten said softly. He put down the Rubix cube on his nightstand and sat up on the side of his bed, looking over at Otto.

"Talk to him," Otto said, pausing the music video for Helena and returning the gaze. "At least wish him a happy birthday, come on. It's his twenty-eighth."

"Yeah, I know, Otto," Awsten said harshly. "I didn't forget. It's not like he wished me a happy birthday this year, why wouldn't I return the favor?"

"Stop being so damn petty," Otto hissed, slamming the old Mac shut and glaring daggers at the natural blue. "I'll drag your ass over to his house right now, Blueberry."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Awsten asked, rolling his eyes. Otto stood up from the desk chair and grabbed Awsten's wrist and pulled him out of their dorm room.

"Both," Otto responded as he continued to drag Awsten out of their dorm building, across the street, and soon into Geoff's neighborhood.

"Geoff probably doesn't even want to see me right now, Otto!" Awsten whined, putting up no fight with Otto, recognizing that he was right. He had to see Geoff sometime or another, especially considering they'd never broken up, they were still boyfriends, and no matter the outcome, they'd both need closure.

"Too bad," Otto said, dismissing the conversation as the two boys ran up Geoff's driveway and up to his door. Otto knocked loudly, waiting for a response.

Geoff's father opened the door, smiling widely at the two. Awsten and Otto could hear the beginning of Fat Lip by Sum 41 playing loudly from down the hall and Geoff's father sighed at the sound of it.