Just When You Thought I Was Gone

chapter one/preloge

I looked at the miror. I wasn't surprised by the way that I looked. I didn't sleep at all last night because I felt full of thoughts. My eyes looked tired and sad yet oddly emotionless. My brunette hair was messy over my shoulders, but I couldn't just stare at myself. It makes me feel selfish, so I stepped away from the miror.

There was only one dream that I still remember to this day. I was runing away from Dylan, the boy that I like, afraid he would keep me calm, without any of my suicidal thoughts, what basicaly keeps me alive (yeah, that's ironic) to make me a better person who takes care of herself.
You may wondering what am I so concerned about, but my main problem is that I don't even know what bothering me.

I feel empty, dead inside, without any context or storyline about myself that would describe me. Nothing can describe my feelings, because I can't even explain them to myself. Everything feels pointless, just something that will waste my time before I'll drown into the infinite world called my mind.

I walked the lonely road towards my school, which was the only one that I ascribe importance, because all the best things happened to me there.

Exactly one year ago I met Dylan. He was new here, and we had so much in common. In that road, we had our very first talk. We talked about how sucks is to start in a new place. He just moved after he was bullied in his old school, and I was so sad for him. He seem to nice, he don't deserve to be bullied.
Altough Dylan was new, he already knew me after a few weeks. We became best friends and he helped me dealing with my issues and my lack of self-appreciation. He was the first one who actually cared about how I would feel good for a long period of time, and not just made me laugh for a second.