Waiting To Blossom

Chapter 4

The mall wasn't as busy as it normally was. It probably had to do with the time. Some stores were already closed. The majority of the few people who walked in the mall were carrying groceries, probably in a hurry to get home before dinner. It seemed quite peaceful having so few people around. However, although it seemed peaceful and quiet, Blossom's heart was racing. Even though something inside of her hoped that the shop that she was looking for was open, she wouldn't mind either if it were closed. She couldn't make up her mind if she needed to walk quicker or slower so she walked in a strange in between. The feeling she had of doing something she wasn't supposed to do made her scan every person that walked by to be sure it wasn't somebody she knew.
Blossom's face was covered in a thick layer of make-up. When she had put it on at home she didn't recognize herself in the mirror. Most people use it to look better, but Blossom didn't thought it made her look prettier. That this was the first time that she had put make-up on was probably a reason for that. It wasn't exactly her talent. At first she couldn't even distinguish the red eyeshadow between blush. Even though she probably looked like a clown, it felt necessary for now to keep at least some sort of messed up pride. It made her look older and it made her look like someone else. Before Blossom had put on her make-up she had said to her parents she was going to take a walk outside. It was too early to sneak out of the house again, so this was the only option she could think of. The heels she was walking on were killing her. Those were also a first time. On TV it always looked so much easier to walk on heels, but it certainly was not. Why would a woman deliberately choose to hurt herself? Men don't wear shoes that hurt, in fact they don't do anything for the sake for beauty except to shave their beard every now and then. For the sake to look good for others, which 'others' is mostly referred to be the other sex. Those thoughts tormented Blossom as she tried to walk in a straight line without leaning too much against the walls and while she tried not to think of how ugly her bent legs must look. She didn't even know her mother had these super heels; they were hidden all the way in the back of her closet. They were probably from when she was younger and maybe she hadn't thrown them away because she had some good memories with them and it reminded her of the good old times. One thing Blossom knew for sure was that she would never wear heels in her life again.
A woman and a man walked in Blossom's opposite direction, both hand in hand. They both looked at her and Blossom heard them giggling when they had passed her by. As long as she looked convincing enough to pass as a grown up woman, she didn't mind that she looked ridiculous. Although Blossom was eighteen, soon to be nineteen, she didn't look very mature. If only Katie was here, she thought, She would probably have some very good advice and tips I could use right now. Before she had come up with this silly plan Blossom had given it a thought telling it to Katie, but if she told her and Blossom would find out that it hadn't been necessary in the end she would probably die of embarrassment.
She reached the pharmacy, but walked passed it. She couldn't. She just couldn't enter. But she knew she had to. Blossom turned around and entered the pharmacy as calm as possible. Trying not to show that she was dying inside. She looked at the shelves with all kinds of products on them. Where was that which she needed? Blossom tried not to panic as well as not to look every two seconds at the salesman, who stood behind the counter. He was looking bored at his phone. He hadn't even looked up when Blossom had entered. As it was almost time to close, his mind was probably already done with the day. That actually made it easier for Blossom to disappear behind the shelves and hide her embarrassed and nervous face. She slowly walked through the store and every time she panicked more she stopped to look at the products she didn't come to buy. Then she saw what she was looking for, lying in a shelve she had overlooked. Her nervousness, instead of calming down, increased and all she did is stare at it, hoping a miracle would happen so that she wouldn't have to pick up the object. It was still unreal to her that she needed to do this. Blossom took a deep breath and was thankful that the salesman was a lazy one and that he couldn't see her behind the shelves. She walked to the shelve and knelt down to read the description. Hoping she would wake up to reality, as this all still felt like a nightmare to her. ''Pregnancy tests'', it said. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. How could this have happened? Just how? Everything was fine until one moment that it went completely wrong and now she was there, staring at a pregnancy test. Again, she took a deep breath and tried not to freak out. It helped that she was the only person in the shop. That way nobody could see her as she tried not to break down. 'What the hell', she mumbled and she grabbed a test. She stood up with all the dignity in the world and walked to the counter. The salesman looked at her appearance with big eyes. She hadn't known it was that bad. As he was scanning the item, Blossom was playing with her ring on her ring finger. She put it on so that she wouldn't feel that bad. 'That's 35 dollars', he said. Blossom gave him the money and he gave her the bag. 'Have a good day.' She didn't reply and walked away. All of the thoughts and emotions that made her dizzy didn't even let her hear his words. Now it was a question of time before she knew if this was only a nightmare, of if this was going to become a horrible reality. Blossom put the bag inside a bigger bag she had taken with her and took out some make-up wipes which she also had brought with her. She cleaned her face and threw the wipes away in a trashcan afterwards.