Seventeen Imagines

Jeonghan

You were pacing up and down the corridor that connected the front door to the doorway of the living room, anxiously chewing on your fingernails.

It was 1am, and you were waiting for Jeonghan to walk through the door. You knew that you probably shouldn't have been worrying, but something inside you kept pestering your thoughts with bad scenarios.

It wasn't uncommon that Jeonghan and the rest of the members finished practiced late into the night and early morning, sometimes even wrapping up only at nearly 4am. It was a regular thing, and though it really concerned you at first, you slowly got used to it.

But it was different this time.

You think back to right before Jeonghan left.

"Y/N, I'll be home by 11 tonight, okay? Let's spend some time together when I get back. But you can sleep if you feel tired."

He smiled warmly at you and ruffled your hair. You had already prepared some snacks for him when he got back, and waited patiently while watching TV. Slowly 11pm rolled by, but Jeonghan still wasn't home. 30 minutes passed, then an hour, then two hours. You were beginning to feel uneasy.

Back in the present, your heart was beating rapidly and you were starting to think that something had happened to him. Before you knew it, you were already out the door, running to Seventeen's practice room. As you approached it some few minutes later, you saw that it was empty. Or so you thought.

There was a lone figure there, sat on the floor with his face buried in his knees. Still, and unmoving. Your heart softened immediately, and you heaved a sigh of relief.

You opened the door and quietly slipped in. You sat next to the figure and placed a tentative hand on his back. He flinched, and when he looked up, his eyes widened.

"Y/N!" Jeonghan exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Instinctively, his eyes turned to the wall clock behind you, and you clearly saw his face fall."Y/N, I am so sorry, I didn't know it was already this late..." he began to stammer. You noticed that his facial expression was strained, as if he was trying hard not to let something else show.

"It's okay, Hannie," you began softly and slowly. "Is it that thing again?"

Immediately, Jeonghan started blinking and his eyes turned redder. Tears were starting to brim around his eyes. "Y/N... it's happening again. I feel like I'm slowing the group down. I take so much longer to learn the dances, and it pulls the other members down too."

You sighed. This wasn't the first time. There were times where Jeonghan went through exactly what he was going through now, and these were the times where you felt as helpless as he was. You had comforted him so many times and told him that it wasn't his fault. You were never going to stop trying to help him feel better, but most of the time you felt like you didn't and couldn't help him. It frustrated you.

"Jeonghan, you don't bring the group down. You heard Cheol and Soonyoung say it themselves. The other members say the same."

"That's the thing. That's what they SAY. Who knows what they're actually thinking? What if someone or more people secretly don't want me here. What if I get kicked out?" Jeonghan hung his head low, the sound of his tears coming in contact with the floor being the loudest in the silence.

You were taken aback. "Jeonghan, that's absurd! You only take 15 to 20 minutes longer than them. That's not a lot. You still catch up faster than most people. Pledis would never kick you out for a silly reason like that. And the members love you, you're like their mom. Heck, sometimes I feel like you show them more affection than you do with me."

"That's not true, I love all of you..." Jeonghan muttered.

Ignoring him, you continued. "I know it's something that only you are able to understand, but it hurts me to see you like this." You pulled him closer to you, so that you could wrap your arms around him. You could feel his usually confident and composed stature trembling.

"It's difficult to be in a group. These are the things that you have to go through." You began to have flashbacks to when you were a trainee in a girl group that never got to debut. Practices were like hell.

"But the reason that you're still here, standing as one of the 13 members of Seventeen, is because you deserve to be. You play an important role in the group, and you still really slay the dances. Do you know how many times I fangirl over my boyfriend during his solos?"

That got a small laugh out of Jeonghan, but he was still crying.

"My point is, you are so, so much better than you think you are. You are hardworking, affectionate, empathetic, caring, loving, and everything that fits in the same category. You have no reason to feel ashamed of yourself, because who you are as a person is someone only you can be. Jihoon is not like Soonyoung, and Soonyoung is not like Cheol. But they're all strong leaders who are powerful in their own ways. Just like them, you are special in your own way. And I think, really, that the good values are what makes you the best." Your gaze on him softened. "That's why fell in love with you."

You waited for a reply, but it was only at that moment when you realized that his quiet sobs had stopped. His breathing had also steadied and was only barely audible. You smiled.

"Well then," you whispered to yourself as you stroked his hair gently. "I guess I'm carrying you home tonight."

"Thank you." Jeonghan whispered with his eyes half open. "Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for caring, and for being here for me. Thank you for loving me."

"Thank you for being here for me to love you, you big baby. Come on, get up. Let's get you in bed back home."

You two left the studio, one as a determined girl, the other as a slightly broken boy. The trip back took a little bit longer, but in the end, being with him made it all worth it.