Broken- And Fixed Again- (A Jamilton Fanfic)

Chapter 33: Suspicions Confirmed

//TW: swearing, self-harm, date-rape drugs, domestic abuse, and implications of rape\\

How to write 101:

Make your characters suffer.

Alexander

I clutched onto my phone, staring down at the empty lock screen that seemed to mock my very being. I forced myself to take a deep breath in an attempt to ease the worry sitting heavy in my stomach like a stone, but it did little good. And it's not like there was any point trying to immerse myself in the movie, not when the rest of the world was crumbling around me. It would just be another betrayal to go ahead and ignore the worry pulling at my very being, twisting my heart into a knot.

The others noticed. How could they not?

"You're not really worried about Thomas?" Hercules asked. "Don't worry, Alex. He'll be fine."

"He should be back by now!" I exclaimed, pulling my hair out of the ponytail it was in and putting it back in. "He should have been back an hour ago!"

"Alexander, don't worry," John said, trying his best to be soothing.

"How can I not worry?" I exclaimed.

"He's not a child, Alexander," John shot back, the attempt to be comforting disappearing at once. "You've got to stop treating him like one. Does he need your constant surveillance?"

"I—no."

"Then relax, would you? Thomas is going to be fine."

Lafayette remained silent, his jaw clenching as he stared at the screen. Staring, but not watching. Not absorbing. He checked his phone, frowned, and tossed his head back, as if whispering a quiet prayer.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the dozen messages I had sent him in the past fifteen minutes alone. They had all gone unanswered, unacknowledged. Leaving me to fear the worst.

I shook my head, as if that could purge the sudden violent images from my mind. Images that would be much better forgotten, if such horrid thoughts ever could truly die. Forcing myself to breathe, I tried texting him one more time.

Alexander: hey baby please answer me

Alexander: please where are you ??

Alexander: Thomas please you know how much I worry about you just call me ok ??

I waited. And waited. And no response ever came.

The walls around me pressed inwards, squeezing the breath from my lungs. I tried to hold on as the world began to spin violently, like a carousel ride out of control with its flashing lights and seemingly innocuous colors bleeding into each other, but there was nothing to grab onto and nothing made any kind of sense at all.

"Hold on, guys," I said, standing up and scrolling through my contacts until I found the one I was looking for. "I'm sorry."

John sighed. "Want us to pause it?"

"You don't have to," I said, hardly hearing the question in the first place. I stepped away from them until I managed to take a tiny bit of solace in the silence in the kitchenette, then pressed the call button. The dial tone filled the air, until eventually, the voice on the other end picked up.