Somewhere In Neverland || Bordan/Jyran ✔

I Can't Love You

Today is Saturday. It's been about two days ever since I saw Brian. Mom had been home for a few hours. Brian and I have messaged each other nonstop.

At first, we talked about Sasha winning season nine of RuPaul's Drag Race. Then, we talked about how we should meet again someday. I totally agree! I loved seeing him!

I look out the window. It's a beautiful, sunny day. I stand up from my desk and walk over to the windowsill. I sit in it and look outside. I see a kid riding his bike down the street and a woman jogging down the sidewalk.

I wish that could be me. I wish I could be outside today! It all looks so beautiful.

I notice Brian on his front porch. He waves at me. I wave back shyly. He still makes me kind of nervous. I just can't get over it! I can't believe that we're together. It's amazing. This is the first serious relationship I've been in. I hope I don't mess up.

....

A few hours later, I'm in the lounge room. The TV is on, but I'm not paying attention to it. I'm looking out the window. I continue to see the beautiful scene I saw earlier.

Only this time, two dogs interrupt it.

I close my eyes and look away. I know what is about to happen. I've seen enough movies to know. This is disgusting! Why can't they do it in private like people do? It would save a child's innocence!

I look at the TV. The show that is on is Mr. Robot. It seems interesting, but it's on the ninth episode. I won't understand anything in it if I start watching now.

All I know is that there's a guy named Elliot, there's a gay guy named Gideon, and this one guy had sex with another guy just so he could hack into his phone. Poor guy.

Once I'm sure the dogs are done, I look back out the window. I see Brian. He's coming towards the front door of my house. Does he know my Mom's home? Probably not. He can't come here! Not now!

I see another guy, a neighbor, go up to him. The guy shoves Brian away. The guy looks very angry. It looks like he's yelling at Brian. What the hell? He was just coming here. He was minding his own business!

I jump up from the couch. I go to the front door. I open it and run out without thinking. "Get away from him!" I yell at the rude neighbor. The guy backs away from Brian in shock.

Brian looks shocked as well. "Jordan, what are you doing? Go back inside!" He yells, "you could get sick!" "I don't care," I say. I hug him tightly, "I don't like people messing with you. You didn't do any harm."

"Jordan!" I hear my mom yell. I let go of Brian and turn around. "Get back inside, now!" She tells me. She sounds angry. I don't negotiate. I go back inside. I don't want to fight with her. I hear her yelling at Brian.

"How could you?" Ashley asks, "if I knew you were going to do that, I wouldn't have let you meet Brian. You could've gotten yourself killed!" "I know," I reply sadly. I don't look at him. I sense him get closer to me.

He stands beside me. "Jordan, you're special. Remember that. I'm here for you, if you need to talk after your mom talks to you," he says, "I gotta go. Good luck with her." He walks away as Mom enters the room.

"Jordan, why? Why risk your life for a stranger?" Mom asks. "He's not a stranger!" I reply, "that's Brian!" "How did you two meet?" She asks.

Should I tell her Ashley set it up? Should I lie? I don't want to risk Ashley's job, but I hate lying!

"We met online," I reply. That's not a complete lie. "He talked to me a few days after he moved here." "That doesn't mean you can risk your life for him," Mom says sternly.

"But I love him," I blurt out. I immediately cover my mouth. I shouldn't have told her that much...

"You don't know what love is," she tells me. "I'm eighteen years old. I know what love is," I reply, "I also know that I'm bisexual. I'm not a little kid anymore. You can't tell me what I know and what I don't know. I'm almost an adult! Just give me a chance."

"I would give you a chance but you'd probably get yourself killed!" She exclaims, "we saw that today!"

We both fall silent. Everyone has told me I could get myself killed. I'm over it. I don't like it. It seems like nobody has faith in me!

I give her a cold look, "Why don't you have any faith in me? I could be stronger than everyone let's on!"

"You don't want to test that. Just trust us. Please, please, please, stay inside. You don't need to risk your life just to prove a point," Mom says, "I'm just protecting you."

"I've heard that before," I say.

"I know," Mom replies, "I'll have to monitor you even more now. Just to make sure everything is healthy. Okay?"

With a sigh, I nod. What did I get myself into?