Coffee Time Slurps

#To My Future Husband

Dear Patidev,

Excuse me because I am generally not good with the greetings yet I think the word 'Patidev' suits you better than any other endearment. That being said, Patidev is an operative word here and I may or may not tune it into hubby, Darling, Swami, Baby, Shona or any other contemporary low-level rather bullshit endearment. Yeah, you heard me right. That's bullshit! I feel my love for you or my endearment for you can only be expressed if I say your name.

Well I intend to say a lot today. I had no idea how to contact to you so I've resorted to this form; writing letters to you. This is my first letter to you and I am going to delineate my real self to you because when last we met, I was nothing but a doll adorned by my mom and my cousins. I was strictly advised to behave accordingly and that's why so many things were hidden from you. Let me clear, that wasn't the real me. But if we wish to keep this relationship. I feel we must manifest our real self to each other.

Do not expect me to baby you all the time because neither I am your nanny nor you're a toddler and in return, I expect the same. Seems fair. Now, just don't misinterpret the meaning of 'Baby'. Here, by baby, I meant the excessive possessiveness or our hovering over each other and our personal life. What? Does that sounded weird? Personal life! Yes, because even after marriage, we both will have our little personal life which we both don't want anyone to intrude in and just because you're my husband and I am your wife, I don't feel we should influence or channelise each other's matter; personal matter.

Still have no clue what I am talking about? Hah! Okay, I shall be vivid.

Last month when you nodded a yes and our families rushed into marriage, I didn't get any chance to ask you or talk to you what you feel. Yeah, don't point out that we did talk. C'mon, how can I know and claim a person right for me within ten minute discourse we were provided by our families? You remember, we took three minutes in greeting each other and the rest of minutes were waded in gazing the garden which I actually don't understand why you found lovely and adorable than me!

Anyways, I feel we don't know each other and this letter will tell you so much about me that if you have any second thoughts about our marriage, you can be certain. Let me begin my introduction. Hi, I am Aanchal Agarwal, an independent girl. I have done masters in mathematics and my subject didn't provide me much space for cultivating myself as a groomed woman. I am still very messy. I'm not mastered in any type of home decor exercise. My bed timing can be irritating. I can't be guaranteed as perfect wife but I promise to learn and develop myself everyday.

First thing first, I don't like possessive men. I would gladly accept if you hold my hand in public or claim my waist but I won't accept if you prohibit me from talking to any men. I'll give an instance, in these twenty three years, my parents have raised me with values and moral and have inculcated what is right or wrong. You must understand that not every person I talk or laugh with is my lover. You must know that you will be the one who commands and rules my heart. I may laugh with others but my eyes will always spot you. I may talk with others but only your smooth voice will resonate in my ears. I've male friends and they've been in my life even before your existence in my world. They are special to me in a way, like my family is special to me. But that doesn't mean I am sharing my love with them. My love will always be centred for you and I am smart enough to distinguish bad and good.

Please don't ever ask me to choose between them or you because you will be the one in loss. If I say I'll choose them, it will directly hurt you or if I say I'll choose you, just remember that you will only degrade yourself in my eyes. I might never be able to feel the same for you. Never be able to look at you the same. It will be etched in my mind that you don't trust me or understand me.