The Way Back

Chapter 30

TOBIAS POV

Tris's palm is sweaty, and if she weren't clutching my hand, it would have slipped away by now. She visibly shudders as we approach the Erudite lab that we were directed to, where the door is open and our friends and family are waiting, where Caleb is presumedly prepping for the injection.

She halts when we are halfway down the hallway, yanking her hand out of mine and curling in on herself as she takes deep breaths. Clearly she is more than nervous, though I don't understand why. She seemed fine on the way here.

"Tris—" I reach out for her, but she dodges me.

"I can't do this," she gasps. "I can't, Tobias."

I try a different approach to calm her, which is thinking through this problem logically. Tris does have an aptitude for Erudite, after all. "Why? What is there to be afraid of?" I ask.

Burying her face in her hands, she replies, "What if the serum has the opposite effect? What if it wipes my memory again and I have to start all over?"

The idea stabs at my stomach, but it doesn't make sense to me. If the Erudite were aiming for a serum that was the exact opposite of the memory serum, how would they mess it up and create the same one they were trying to avoid at all costs?

"It won't."

She obviously isn't satisfied. "What if—"

"Tris," I sigh, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Relax. You're overthinking this. It's a serum that they already tested, and it is the only chance of you recovering your lost memories."

Tears fill her eyes, and suddenly I waver. I shouldn't make her do this. She is petrified.

But how can I get her back if she refuses this?

"Tris, look at me." I press both palms to either side of her face, which is stark pale.

Tris automatically wraps her slender arms around my waist for something to ground her. With wet eyes, she tells me, "If it doesn't work, and I go back to where I started, then you have to promise me something."

"Anything." I don't even have to think about my response.

"Don't give up on me. We've already made it this far with all odds against us. We're..." She closes her eyes and bites her lip, a tear finally escaping. "I've gotten so close to loving you again, and I know that it's not impossible to bring me back. So don't give up on me, on us."

Her words bring more hope than anything she has ever said to me before. She's close to loving me again. And she didn't even need to remember.

Does she have to have this serum then if I already have her?

But I know my answer. As much as it has been interesting trying to get her to fall back in love with me, I just want my wife back at this point. I have waited for her long enough.

"And just in case something goes wrong..."

She stands on her tiptoes to reach my lips and kisses me chastely, yet with affection that cannot be missed. I keep her face framed in my hands as I return it, pouring in certainty in hopes that it will pass onto her and give her the courage she needs for this procedure.

"You'll be fine," I whisper against her mouth, because I believe it. Backing up, I press her waist against mine and start leading her forward to the room. "I'll be right here the whole time."

Our conversation—or our kiss—has seemed to calm her slightly. By the time we walk into the room, she has her breathing under control and all evidence of her crying is gone.