Two's Too Many

6: Proof Of a Heart

Jack

I don't want to leave him at the moment it seems like the worst possible thing to do. But I am required with these dumb therapy sessions. I walk to the living room where Zack and Rian are waiting. "You were out late last night did you have a good walk home?" Zack asks with a worried voice, the only voice he ever used with me anymore. "Yeah it was nice I took the long way that's why I was late." Zack seems to always think I'm lying usually I'm not but in this case however I actually am lying.

"Well I'm going to ride with you and Rian to your therapies I want to see this place so I can help with transportation." This comes to a relief that both of them are coming I would rather avoid them stumbling into Alex. That would be rather catastrophic.

"You seem like you're in a good mood today." Rian remarks a little grin on his face. His beard is getting a little scruffy as if he's been slacking it's hard to realize sometimes that I'm not the only one still mourning Alex, they are too. Just in different ways and they got over the worst already. Little do they know he's sitting on my bed right now. How can I tell them? Should I even?

No.

I shrug off Rians remark and bite at my nails a little.

Images of Awstens horrified face pop into my mind, and I shake my head slightly, sharply inhaling.

I suppose I know it's not normal, or natural, to see someone be put into the ground, just to find them completely alive a year later. Well, sort of alive.

"Hey," I say, watching Rians expression change. "Maybe you guys wanna stick around and when I get out of my session we can go grab lunch or something..?"

Both Rian and Zack practically light up at my offering. Whatever keeps them out of the house unless I'm there.

"We'd love to, Jack!" Zack says, glancing at Rian excitedly.

I smile a little to pull it off as they start discussing lunch options as we pull up to the large building and park.

"See you guys in an hour," I say, swinging the car door open and hopping out.

They both wave as I wander off towards the building.

Yeah, so I kind of skipped out on therapy. Instead I went to the roof of the building and just hung out, keeping my intrusive thoughts contained and just thinking about Alex instead.

An hour passed and I made my way back down, hoping to meet Rian and Zack outside.

I walk past the waiting room briskly, hoping to go as unoticed as possible.

No luck.

"Oh, Jack."

I stop dead in my tracks, feelings of anxiety in my chest. I turn around to face him, slightly dreading the disapproving look I know I'm going to receive.

"Doctor Quinn," I grumble, as he stares at me with the disapproving look I was expecting.

"Funny seeing you here, I didn't catch you for your session today," he says, tapping his foot slightly and peering at me as he takes a sip of his iced coffee.

I breath in sharply through my teeth, trying to think of the best way to bullshit my way out of this.

"Look," he pipes in before I even have a chance to try and speak. "I'll let this one slide. Say it's just nerves because this is new, but if you do miss your next session, your friends will be receiving a call from me."

I frown, but nod anyways.

He smiles a little and nods before waving and continuing on his way, disappearing into his office.

I grumble and make it outside to see Zack and Rian waiting patiently in the car, I jump in and instantly feel the heat that they've probably been blasting this whole time.
"How was it?" Zack enthusiastically questions.

"It was good." I respond hearing the small click of my seatbelt.

"Did you just sit out here the whole time?" I'm only asking in fear they went back to the apartment.

"No we went on a walk and made it back just in time for your session to be over." Thank god.
"So Red Robin?" I ask
"Yup." They both reply in unison, Rian starting the car and beginning to drive.

Within minutes we're there. We sit in a small booth Rian and Zack on one side and me on the other. That's how we always have sat only when Alex was around to eat dinner with us he would be by my side.
Maybe it'll be like that again now, eventually. Deep down I know that it's not possible however.

What does Alex even eat? Does he eat?

I cough on the French Fry I'm eating an image skipping through my head I don't even want to consider being true.

But I think it's only smart to consider, maybe he eats people.
Not the best thoughts over dinner.

"Are you okay?" Rian asks after the second time I've gagged on a fry.
"Yeah, yeah sorry."

"I'm glad you wanted to go out for once Jack, we've been really worried about you. It makes me really happy you're finally starting to become your social goofy self again, even though you're not fully your old self yet, going out to dinner is a start." Rian grins poking his salad with his fork.

"I'm happy too."

I wolf down three quarters of my burger and finish up the remainder of the fries, we pay and head back home.
The car ride home all I'm worried about is somehow racing inside the apartment to make sure Alex is out of sight before we get there.

I use the "I need to pee" card no other ideas coming to mind. I'm glad I did Alex is sitting cris cross applesauce admiring some object.

"Alex come on we need to go to our room let's go." I practically drag him to the room, and plop him on the bed.

"I told you to stay in here remember!" I harshly whisper.

"I-I'm sor-sorry Jack." He whimpers.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel bad it's okay just stay in here next time okay."

"O-okay."

I look down to the object still clenched in his hands to see an old photograph of us.
That day still vividly is seen as one of our best. We had a picnic after we summited a 5 mile hike. The whole way Alex would reassure me the journey was worth it, he helped me keep going on that what seemed at the time never ending trail. Like he said it was worth it so, so worth it.

He's always helped me go forward.

"Again" he whispers, one of the clearest pronunciations I've heard from him yet.

"C-can we g-go again"
Now I know for sure this is Alex my Alex he has the ability to want to have fun and be together again. He's not just an empty shell that somehow is living.

"Nothing would make me happier." I whisper back sitting next to him on my bed. No, our bed.