Shadows of Hope

Chapter 14

Faith's POV

Scrubbing at an invisible streak on the vanity mirror, I rub and polish until the glass is shinier than Cinderella's slipper. Everything sparkles from top to bottom, delighting in the appearance of a brand-new apartment rather than the well-worn one we have rented for over two years. My three day cleaning spree has resulted in a spotless wonder which should make my cousin overjoyed. Instead, Tossie stares back at me through the reflection in the glass, waiting for me to admit defeat.

"I'm beginning to worry I gained a built-in housekeeper but lost a fun-loving cousin." Tossie's words are kind, told in the loving voice of someone who will always tell you the truth whether you want to hear it or not, but at least in a gentle manner. Ever since the tabloids blew up with pictures of the balcony encounter, I've isolated myself in the apartment, not wanting to face the judgmental stares of any lurkers who might still be staking out our place. It took me all of ten minutes of internet browsing to read everything from innocent speculation to wild embellishments of a scandalous nature. Stepping away from the world seemed like the best solution at the time; the only way to keep my mind from spinning out of control with 'what-ifs.'

Removing the spray bottle of Windex from my left hand, Tossie lays it on the dresser before placing both hands on my shoulders. I'm forced to look her in the eye as she gazes back at me with equal parts empathy and concern.

"I know how hard it is for you to be in the spotlight again, even if no one knows who the girl in the picture really is." Tossie squeezes my shoulders gently, a sad smile gracing her lips. "It's not Zade's fault that his life is lived under a microscope. Being friends with him, or more, means that you have to accept both the positive and the ugly."

My chin drops toward my chest as shame fills my heart. I'm an imposter, a fraud. I go through life pretending I am this stoic, independent woman when, in reality, I'm just a scared little girl missing her big sister. I thought moving to Nashville would bring me to the point of acceptance and maybe even closure. Instead, I'm standing at the edge of the world with only the sound of the wind to keep my misery company.

"I don't know if a relationship is worth the trouble," I whisper, hoping Tossie holds the golden key- an answer which makes sense. Lately I feel as if I am a living, breathing Magic 8 Ball-shake me up and wish for the best possible outcome but be prepared for the wrong answer to hit you square in the back, knocking you off balance and falling face first in the mud and grime of reality.

A beat of silence fills the tiny room, louder than if a party of 10 people were congregating in the space, before Tossie throws out her answer. "The better question to ask is this-is Zade worth the struggles and sacrifices you will have to make to be friends?"

"Answering me with a question; you are so helpful dear cousin." My statements lack any heat as I know she is only trying to be supportive. Tossie will never replace Hope but she does do a darn good job accepting the position of best friend.

Releasing her grip on my shoulders Tossie sits down on the neatly made bed, causing a slight indention in my perfectly symmetrical covers. "So they got a picture of the kiss, big deal. What I want to know is how was it kissing a bonafide superstar?"

I fall backwards onto the bed beside her, a small grin spilling out onto my lips. "None of your business good."

She chucks a throw pillow at my head, clearly unimpressed with my response. "Seriously, best kiss ever or mediocre and the media just hypes up his superpowers?"

I press my head back against a pillow and shake with suppressed laughter. "Oh my gosh Tossie, he's a human being just like every other male out there. The only superpower he possess is a bit of arrogance."