Words Like Knives

Flower Petals

Jin's pov
I stood in an abyss that seemed to have no end. A dark place where I can see perfectly fine. A place representing my soul that has been empty for so long. Cracking like my heart that remained fragile all these years and I stayed there, six white flower petals in front of me, it was on the ground, glowing so subtly.

I kneeled down and moved my hand under one of it, bringing it closer to my eyes to examine it, looking so closely until I saw Hoseok, he was peeking in our room and he suddenly ran away back to their's. I heard something hitting the ground and looked behind, a single pill was on the ground.

I looked back at the flower, and Hoseok was in the bathroom, muffling his cries and across from him, on the sink was a pill bottle. I slowly put the petal back down and went to get the next one.

The next one showed Namjoon, in his room looking through photos of him and I. Hoseok was calling for him downstairs, once he stood up, the room turned into a seemingly glass case, it was shattering until a few pieces fell and once he left and closed the door, the whole room broke and stayed on the ground as shards of glass, and there appeared next to me was a glass shard.

I put it back down and moved onto the next, this one showed me Jungkook, in his room sleeping peacefully but I could see his dream, a dream about a man with broken wings, a raven and him. I couldn't see all of it when he suddenly woke up and ran his hand through his hair, his lips were moving but I wasn't able to guess what he was saying yet a single feather fell next to me.

I took ahold of the next petal, Taehyung was in the living room along with the other boys, he was crying, this was the day where Jimin told them about my cuts, he told everyone and I thought it was only Yoongi. I didn't get mad at all though because I knew he only cared for me. Taehyung was now in water, but his tears were clear and can be seen properly even so, he was underwater when he suddenly closed his eyes and floated. Water then began dripping from somewhere.

The next petal,it was Jimin, sitting next to me on bed, he leaned down and kissed my forehead, he lifted my sleeve and saw the cuts, he was worrying for me. It all happened until it went back to the day where the unforgettable talk I had with PD-nim took place. A soft soothing whisper can then be heard.

The last petal, it was Yoongi hugging me, the day he found out about the cuts and everything but we were not in our room, we were in the middle of flames. The flames were so close to us yet, it didn't touch us, we were safe. I put the petal down and it started to burn along with the others as well. I stared at it while everything else was getting worse.

The fire was getting bigger, the dripping water seemed to turn into rain, pills were falling from the sky, glass objects kept falling and shattering, the whispering was getting louder and unpleasant and ravens were flying everywhere. I closed my eyes, only to open it again to see the boys and I standing there, smiling and still. 2013, during our debut year, we were all happy and having fun, working hard and not giving up until Seokjin walked away from them, the other six grew older and it was now 2017, we were wearing the outfits for Not Today it seems. After this rest, in September we'll have a comeback again and by then I wonder, will everything be better, the same or worse?

I've scarred my skin and left a mark that might never heal and stay there for ever, the management will cover it up with make up or just make me wear sleeved outfits but they will despise me for making their job harder, I was just tired of everything and I brought it upon myself, it was always gonna be myself, because it's all I have.

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I opened an eye and looked around, I was alone in our room and I sighed. I thought about the dream I had and what was happening in each petal but a thought runs through my head again, I was going back to my condition before.

Maybe giving up won't be that bad