depression | bang yedam

3

Areum's POV

" Where are you bringing me ?! " I yanked his hand away. Weirdly, this is the longest sentence I've ever said today.

He smiled before dragging me to the amusement park and I stared at all those smiling faces in envy. I do want to smile but yet, it's just fake smile if I were to have a smile.

" When I was younger, I would drag my parents to this amusement park because I felt happy when i'm playing. " I looked around.

I wanted to say he's still young but I didn't have the feel to talk. There's just a lump in my throat that's stopping me from talking.

" I was really happy so I started throwing tantrum when my parents didn't want to bring me here. " He said and I stared at my fingers.

" There was one day, I remembered the scene really clearly. I whined so my parents would bring me here and they did, " He said.

" But because of it, I've caused someone's death. " I looked up at him and a tear flowed down his cheeks.

I wanted to ask him, to comfort him but I'm in no position to do that if i'm not even okay myself.

He wiped his tears, " My dad dropped me and my mom down and he went to park his car but got into an accident on the way there. "

He sniffled, " I didn't dare to come here ever since then, I told myself that I'm a killer and I killed my own dad. "

I looked at him again, " That's when I became like you, I started to keep myself away from people, stop interacting. I fell into depression. "

My eyes widened, I didn't expect such a happy guy like Yedam, to actually suffer from depression in the past or even once.

" Ever since I met you, I told myself I can't let others be like me either. I got over depression slowly, with the help of my mom. That's why I've decided to talk to you, to help you. " He said.

I felt touched, " Honestly, this is my first time coming here ever since then, I want to show you my achievement. "

He held my hand, " If I can overcome my fear of coming to this place, you can overcome depression too. "

I was smiling slightly but that's when,

You can't.

Do you think you can escape from me ?!

You crazy brat !

You think you're all mighty when you're nothing !

You're worthless !

You're helpless !

Do you think Yedam can help you ?

What makes you think his story is real ?

So what if it's real ?

Do you think you can overcome me ?

No !

So give up !

Fear began overwhelming me, I yanked his hand away and ran to where my senses told me. I spotted a bus stop and I sat down there.

My heart was beating really quickly, I felt like I just ran a thousand miles around the field.

But it isn't a good kind of feeling.

My depression took over my life and it has already started changing me. I used to have friends but when they realised I am not like other kids, they left me.

They freaking did.

They've started hanging out with the cool kids in school and together, they made fun of me. The fact that my dad is a prisoner, they used it against me.

Little did they not know, they are slowly crushing my will to live. That little will I have left in me, is slowly being crushed away.

I'm only 15 but it made me realised how many things happened within such a short time.

I remembered telling one of my best friend that I have depression and she told me,

" Depression ? you will be fine after a good night sleep, believe me. "

I wish it was, I wish I could believe you but I can't. Why does people seemed to think depression goes away within a blink ?

It doesn't goes away, it stays. It stays and it slowly kills me, it slowly takes away my happiness, my daily routine,

Everything.

" Areum ! " I heard a familiar voice, I realised it belongs to Yedam. I felt comforted when I saw him but I felt the need to stay away from him too.

" Why did you leave just like that ? " He asked as he sat down beside me. I looked down at my fingers and started peeling my nails.

He seemed to have notice it, " Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt you. I will help you instead. "

Honestly, at this point of time, even if I want to believe him I can't anymore. I don't know who to trust anymore, everyone seemed to have became my enemy.

My stomach started hurting really bad, I placed my arm against my stomach as I groaned in pain.

" Are you okay ? " Yedam asked nervously but I didn't have enough energy to even reply him. He brought me to the clinic near by and it slowly fades away after I ate some sort of medication.

The doctor looked at me, " How long have you not eaten anything ? " Yedam looked at me, worriedly and I just looked down at my fingers again.

" Your stomach seemed to be empty for a short period of time which results in you suffering from pains. " Yedam nodded as the doctor further explained.

Hello.

I'm here.

To tell you that you suck.

Tears began flowing down my cheeks, both the doctor and Yedam tried to calm me down but nothing seemed to be working.

After awhile, Yedam brought me to grab some food and I have the sudden rush to eat.

I bought a ton of food and started munching on about four people worth of food. Even after so much food, I felt hungry still.

" Stop eating. " Yedam said in concern but at that moment, I see it as a warning to tell him to leave me alone.

" Leave me alone ! " I said as I started shoving more and more food into my mouth.

He grabbed my hand to stop me from eating and he looked at me,

" We will get through the dark days together. l

15th Dec 2017

" Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take it's place. If I quit, however, it will last forever. "
- Lance Armstrong

Only you guys have the power to overcome depression or any mental illness yourself. No matter how hard I try to help, if you do not try to take a step out of it, nothing will help.