depression | bang yedam

9

Areum's POV

I looked over at my clock as it rang. It felt good knowing that I had a goodnight sleep last night, it has been a long time.

It's a new term ahead of me and I promise myself to make this term a better one.

I've been failing tests the previous years due to depression and the fact that I didn't bother going to school cause i'm going to take my life away or whatever.

But i've slowly came out of it.

I put on my uniform and went down to the dining room where I saw my mom, yes I have finally came to realisation that she's my real mom.

She smiled at me widely and I smiled back, I walked to the table where I saw many plates of delicious food that's waiting for me.

" Are you sure the both of us is able to finish all these food here ? " She smiled.

" Even if you can't finish it, I will finish it. I just want you to have a hearty breakfast before you leave for school and also to carry out my duty as a mom that i've missed. " She smiled slightly.

I tried to eat as much food as possible, shoving it down my throat as if i'm a vacuum machine.

" Eat slowly, or else you'll choke. " She said as she patted my back slightly.

When i'm done, I laid back on the chair as I rubbed my belly that's protruding. I felt like I became a happier person despite gaining weight due to the hearty meals my mom prepared.

It felt great knowing i'm not alone, for the past years i've been thinking that i'm alone and i'm not going to trust anyone ever anymore.

" Yedam asked you to call him when you're done. " My mom said and if you're wondering why, well guess who got a boyfriend ?

Me.

Yedam confessed his feelings to me a few months back and honestly, I already suspect that I have feelings for him but I didn't want to admit it.

It took me a few days to master the courage to express my feelings towards him too but oh well, we are here at this stage already aren't we ?

He is the only one who encouraged me and didn't give up on me when i'm at my darkest days and it means so much to me.

At least I know I can lean on him whenever I felt unhappy about something, I know that he wouldn't leave me alone and that I can trust him and of course, love him.

I dial his number and it rang a few times before the call got connected. " Sup. " Yedam said in his try-to-act-cool voice but failed.

I chuckled, " You don't have to act all cool in front of me dude. " He chuckled and told me to meet him outside my house.

Yedam live a few house down mine, it became really convenient for us to meet and also, both of our moms agreed to our relationship.

The moment I saw him, I couldn't help it but to give him a really tight bearhug. I jumped into his embrace and he chuckled as he stroked my hair gently.

" Let's go to school bear. " He said as he gently grabbed my hand. It made me feel secure and I think that's what someone who have depression needs.

Honestly when you're in a depressed state, sometimes food doesn't comfort you. What comforts you most is knowing there's someone you can lean on and wouldn't leave you, in another word, a sense of security.

When we got to school, everyone stared at us in confusion. No one knows I would open my heart to anyone, honestly not even the past me know.

I got to class and someone approached me, " Hey Areum. " I smiled slightly as I saw the girl standing in front of my desk, she's also my ex best friend.

Remember the girl who left me ? Yeah her.

" It might be really selfish of me but I do hope we ca be friends again. It honestly hurts me knowing we aren't the same as before. " She said.

" I'm fine with being friends but I don't know if we can be as close as before since you did break my trust. " I said and she nodded slightly.

She smiled, " I'm just glad you're doing well now, and I have to apologise for being such a jerk before. I didn't believe in the severity of depression last time but I came to a realisation of how serious it is. "

" I believe you did become a better person, and I believe in you. " I said and she smiled.

After I officially got out of the war zone, I started to tell everyone that I believe in them. It might just be a mere four words sentence but to someone who is in need of help, it means more than just four words.

So do me a favour, tell people you know I believe in you. Trust me, it works like a miracle.

As the teacher entered the room, he started calling our names to mark our attendance. " Areum ? " He called out and I raised my hand confidently.

Oh right, some of you might be wondering what about the scars on my wrist ?

It might seem like a weak point to some but what I've learned through my depressed days is that, those scars aren't your weakness, it shows how strong you are to overcome depression.

I believe in every single one of you.

As the teacher starts teaching, I became really attentive and every single information given by the teacher, I've noted it down all in my little handy notebook.

" Please write down on a piece of paper what you want to be in the future. " He said as we passed around a blank piece of paper.

I've thought about it before, it used to be anything but now, I've made my decision.

I want to be a counsellor.

I want to be able to help others who used to be like me, someone who is struggling with depression and felt as if no one is there for them.

I want them to know that i'll always be with them regardless of what happen, I will stay by their side till they overcome their battle.

Because,

I believe in them.

20th Jan 2018

" I am stronger than depression. "
- Anonymous

You are stronger than depression, overcome it. I know it's tougher than what it seemed, but I believe that every single one of you have the ability to overcome it.

Sometimes it's hard to talk to a counsellor, I understand that fully.

But I want you guys to remember that your life means a lot so don't do anything to end it. You guys might feel like you're lost in the dark but there's always a light at the end of the darkness.

I believe everyone of you will reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lastly, I love you guys so don't ever feel that you're unlove because there's always someone out there who love you to the bits.