Forgot to Remember

Saturday Noon / Evening

Saturday Noon / Evening

Ant sat bored in front of the TV, remote in his hand, listlessly flipping through channels.
"Today we will learn the recipe for... ...fresh lumps of elephant dung... ...shot on location in Newcastle starring... ...the President of Afghanistan... ...and the new world chess champion... ...went to the premier dressed to the nines... ...garnished with a slice of lemon... and kids your new bedazzling cowboy hat is ready to be worn..."
He didn't pay much attention though. He was thinking about all the pieces of his memory he got back already. He decided that he would go and meet Dec tomorrow. Declan would definitely help him find Sarha or Lisa. His life would finally make sense again. Tanja had been right, he would be home soon. He just hoped that Dec would help him. He was sure that he would, though; the man had a soft heart and was a born helper. More details of his friendship with Dec came back to his mind.

He had definitely looked cute as he sat at the bar telling Ant who excited he was that Sm:tv had become a great hit. Those beautiful blue eyes had looked up at Ant with a warm friendly glow in then and they seemed to sparkle more than ever. Declan's fair skin looked so soft and smooth that Ant's hand had itched to touch it and... *Why the hell was he thinking of touching a man?* But the thought of Dec's face made him want to grin like a fool. He liked Dec. He wanted Dec and not just as a friend but as something much more, something completely different. Ant frowned and squirmed with guilt. How long would it be before Lisa found out about this? She would then leave him for sure. And his family... How would his mum and his sister react? His mother would probably disown him.
The cheers of the crowd on the television broke his reverie, jolting him back to reality.

*It has been five years since that moment. Had Lisa and Christine and Sarha already found out? Was that why he couldn't contact either of them? Had he chased Dec?*
Ant wished he could remember. What he did clearly remember was that Dec was a complete Adonis. He was unlike any other men Ant had ever met. Dec was always well dressed. Neither was there a single crease on his clothes nor a single strand of that fluffy brown hair out of place. He was always surrounded by a mist of the most intoxicating cologne that Ant had ever inhaled. He even had the most beautiful voice. It was just so soothing. That voice... Those eyes... It was Declan... Dec had been the one haunting him in his dreams.
But Dec was with Clare. The dreams he had of Dec kissing him must have been his own wishful thinking. Ant felt confused and again fell into depression. He finally made a decision. Maybe Declan was his only chance to contact Sarha or Christine but visiting Dec was out of question.

Ant then flung away the remote and got off the couch. He felt trapped. He had a sudden urge to breathe fresh air to clear his head. He saw Tanja coming out of the kitchen and asked her, "Do you mind if I go out, jogging?"
"Of course not sweetie." Then she added, "You'll most probably be passing by the supermarket. So on your way back could you get me 2 pounds of mincemeat and half a pound of flour. I'll give you the cash."
Ant nodded in affirmation and mumbled, "Okay."
He ran at a steady pace, taking deep breathes of the late morning air. It revitalised him. Exercising always made him feel happier.
He was suddenly hit with another memory, which made him feel angry. He had thought that Lisa would leave him should she find out about his feelings for Dec but instead she had cheated on him and kissed some random guy. Ant growled and ran faster. Had Dec not held him back, he would have gone and beaten up that guy, whoever the hell he was.
Ant stopped to catch his breath. He felt a strange tightness in the left side of his chest. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart.
"Anthony you aren't so young anymore. Take it easy old man." he mocked himself. Once his heart rate and breathing had returned to normal he started off at a slow pace again. He had known Dec for so long. They had an amazing friendship since the start so maybe he should visit him."
Yes, he would definitely go to Dec. Ant smiled "Jogging really helps to jog my brain, clever Me." he preened and continued jogging down the street. An item displayed in a shop window caught his eye and he stopped to admire it.
"Wow! That's one hot red jacket. It's just like Dec's. And boy does it look hot on him; I wish I could kiss... KISS! Dec was the one whom Lisa had kissed. That fu***ing bastard!"