✔ ALUEDAA

¢нαρтєя тωєηту тняєє - ¢υ∂∂ℓє αωαу му ηιgнтмαяє

Summer was coming, meaning the end of my only and last school year was just around the corner.

"Hey, wait up!" I laughed, running towards Cameron's car, "I was joking,"

"No you weren't," He pouted, playfully glaring at me as he sat in the driver's seat, arms crossed over is well-built chest.

"Okay, so I wasn't. But it's true! You did look cute in the dress!" I exclaimed, remembering the photo of a teenage girl wearing a dark pink dress, the blond hair in a high ponytail. I wouldn't have taken any notice of it, if it wasn't for the fact that Cameron's face was on it, perfectly photoshopped to look like it really was him.

Huffing, he unlocked the doors, letting me enter the car and sit next to him while Elsu and Ungeld ran towards us, both laughing about the lovely photoshop Veronica had done, and got into the back seats.

"I swear, next time, try a lighter pink? I mean, it looks lovely... But lighter would suit you better,"

"And blond suits you, so maybe die it that color?"

"Okay, wither you all shut up, or I'm not taking you home. And we all know how much you would dislike that, especially since today is Friday Film night," Cameron negotiated, trying to stop the laughter.

"We would just fly back," Ungeld muttered in between breathless pants, his face red from laughing so much.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever,"

After a couple of minutes of silence, Elsu, who had grown quite fond over our movie night, asked, "What film are we watching today?".

"Ever heard of Avatar?"

"Nope,"

"Well, we're watching that,"

The only sound in the car was from the faint upbeat music coming from the radio, the laughter from before just a memory as we all fell into our own thoughts.

Ever since I had come back from my flight to the ocean, I had stopped trying to distance myself with Cameron. I mean sure, I probably could keep in contact with him after the mission is finished, but I was being selfish enough staying with him now. I didn't need to put him in any more danger.

Eventually he would forget me, would learn to hate me.

"Okay, who finished the fuck- fudging popcorn?" I exclaimed, holding the empty bowl in front of everyone, "I was going to take some to bed!".

"Too bad, popcorn is for films." Ungeld stated, his eyes half closed.

"Shut the hen up Neddicky," I growled, before saying my good nights and heading off to sleep.

Walking silently towards my room, I closed the window, taking in my room.

It had changed quite a lot since I had come out from CARESS. The walls that at one point had been full of guns and gadgets, all organized by size and resistance, now held less gadgets, mainly because I was off the mission grid and had to keep lending mine to Elsu and Ungeld that somehow managed to lose them all on their missions. Instead, I now had pictures, some of me and Ungeld, some of Elsu and me, some of my whole group of friends, and some of just Cameron and me.

The paint had changed too. Instead of vein the white plain paint from CARESS, Ungeld and Elsu had decided to surprise me by painting it light blue, and in theory they were going to do some drawings with different shades of blue, but ended up starting a paint war.

It looked good though. It made it look unique.

As I layed in bed, I covered myself in the thick blanket Ivy had given to me, the soft smell of lavender tickling my nose as I lost my mind in the unconscious world.

I didn't want to kill them!" I cried, sobbing, "I-I only wanted to get out!"

My heart was broken because of my actions, my mind disgusted by the death I had created that day.

I hadn't meant to.

But at that moment, I hadn't seen another way out, hadn't seen another solution except to shot them in the heart.

You could have shot them in the hand, I thought bitterly, knowing that if I had some innocent people would have died anyway. Or the leg, or anywhere except the heart.

I was being tough on myself, and I knew it.

But I couldn't help it.

I had killed three people, I had finished three lives. And all that to save myself.

I knew that if I hadn't used their guns against them I wouldn't be alive, but atleast I wouldn't feel like this now.

"I swear, I didn't want to... I just wanted to leave that wretched place..."

I was full-blown crying now, giant tears rushing down my face as I rocked myself in the corner of my plain room.

"I don't want to do this anymore," I sniffed, "I don't want to live in this hellhole..."

My silent cries echoed through the dull room, a puddle of tears forming on the floor, the salty water dripping down the bridge of my nose mixing into my runny nose, the substance rolling down my metal chest, carrying all the dirt and dust that had gotten stuck to my clothes during the past days.

"I don't want to live anymore," I cried, repeating myself until unconsciousness took over.

It was a dream.

It wasn't real.

As I tried calming my hectic breathing, I opened my eyes slightly, trying to blink away the tears that had formed because of my nightmarish past, along with the sleep that was still in my sistem.

As my eyes focus slightly, I realised someone was holding me, the blurry face of someone hugging me nagging me as I was swept back into the unconscious world.

After that, the nightmare didn't come back.