I've had so many knives stuck in my back, when they hand me a flower I can't quite make out what it is. It takes time. That's why I'm scared to trust. My heart is seeing the flowers in your left hand, but my mind is asking what your right is hiding behind your back. I'm at a constant battle with myself, but you don't know that. You have no idea what I face within this sick, twisted mind. I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away from others. I like being alone. I have control over my own shit and no one can tell me any different. And sure, I like being alone, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I like being lonely.
Have you ever thought that perhaps one did not want to be loved as much as understood. But you don't understand... I'm a disaster waiting to happen. Catastrophe after catastrophe occurs with me and I don't wanna burden you with that.
And I'm alone! I'm always alone! Even if I have people saying they're here for me, I'm still fucking alone and it fucking hurts because I'm finally starting to grasp the fact that at the end of the day all you have is yourself and your fucked up, twisted thoughts!
As a child we were always told to watch out for the monsters under our bed, but why didn't anyone ever care to warn us about the ones inside our heads?..
