At this point, I don't even care anymore. I don't wanna deal with stupid people, I don't wanna see the faces around this school. I wanna move. I'm gonna cut ties with a lot of people because I'm so done lol. Can I just leave? I want to. I wanna leave and have a fresh start, but there's some people I can't bear to leave behind. Like my mom. Sure, we don't always get along but I still love her regardless. I don't & won't leave her. She's not her best right now and I don't want her to do anything stupid. I can't lose her. Not yet. But gosh... I wanna get out of this place. Like ASAP. I almost can't stand it. And yet, for whatever reason I'm still here. Sometimes I wish I could just cease to exist... but to do that, I'd have to die and I don't want to die. Yet. I'm surrounded by all these fake people and bad vibes and it absolutely sucks. God? Do you hear me? Can you help me find a solution? 'Cause I can't find one lol. And I hate myself, honestly. I know people say that a lot, and yeah I'm probably one of those, but I like seriously hate myself lol. Why? I don't even know the answer myself. And I don't know who I'm talking to but thanks for listening I guess. My life's kinda sucky and so am I lol. Honestly, I'm just like a massive piece of shit. I hate myself, and I hate him. But don't put us in the same category because he's a fucking monster, one of the worst, and I just so happen to be me. But him, fuck him. I literally hate him. D'ya hear me God? I hate him, sorry for that hurting you but I'm not sorry for hating him. And he had the audacity to do that, wtf! Sometimes I have nightmares of you, but yet I'm awake. Are they technically nightmares if I'm awake? I hate you, you fucking piece of shit! I hate you! And to that little girl, I'm so fucking sorry that I couldn't help you. Oh God, I'm so sorry. Could you ever forgive me?
Sincerely, me.
