All through the year | lgbt+ ✔️

oops, i found my lover in the ocean. [6]

"I'd never admit my feelings. Because if I say it out loud, I'd believe it and
I
                   don't
want
       to
       believe             it."

_______________________________

15 days.
12 hours.
43 mins.

I'm too fucked up to count the seconds.

I could hear the water boiling and feel the steam hit my face. My face was still frozen. Beads of ice rolling down my face.

Sweat?

I heard the sharp sound of metal hitting the ground and soon enough I was drenched.

It's a mess.

I was spacing out again. I dropped the pot of boiling water on my floor, all over my clothes.
It seeps in through the fibers, soaking my skin and a chill ran up my spine.

I can hear the waves.

I took a deep breath as the ocean made my eyes blurry. Salty drops of water.
My eyes drowned in salty drops of water.

15 days
12 hours
54 mins.

-
The shower head was dripping.

Drip drop.

I was in the bathtub immersed in warm water.
My eyes were drowning again but in cold water that lost its salt.

Tasteless.

Just like the words that rolled off my tongue yesterday when I met her.
She was hanging off his arm, obviously drunk off her mind. I swear I saw her drop her soul somewhere in the bushes on the way back from her misery to a place she called 'home'.
Sleep was not being polite with her either, the bags under her eyes show more pain than the ashes crushed under her feet.

______________
Grey lips.

A cigarette?

The blonde boy smiled at me in his drunken state. Drenched in stench.

"I don't like you anymore."

I didn't stutter.

I didn't.

Walk.    Away.

I could hear the pavement crack as my heel turned to hit the ground as I walked away.

The cheering laughter of the people that stumbled out after her were multiple.

Multiples of ten.

"Hey! Stop"

Multiples of happiness.

"What do you mean by that?"

Multiples of hundred.

"I thought we were friends."

I could hear the unsaid words scribbled over her face. They echoed off the buildings I ran beside. All the people I saw were screaming them at me.

Multiples of -

I'm not walking anymore. Deep breaths.

I looked back, its a huge Christmas tree with funny lights. Sigh.

What was it again?

I could see the blurred lights that twinkled brightly. I was sitting under the big Christmas tree in central. The sounds drowned out by the waves. I heard weeping beside me.

"Dude, are you okay?" My voice was a distorted motion of concern.

"No."

He looked at me with tears falling from his eyes. They added to the ocean around us. The sounds drowned out by the waves, all I could hear was his voice.

"I don't want to be alone on Christmas eve."

You don't have to be.

His broken voice was like music to my ears. His puffed up cheeks were pretty and as much as a stranger he was, I couldn't help but feel like I've known him for years.

"You don't have to be."

15 days.
14 hours
22 minutes and-

I opened my eyes to a fogged up bathroom and walked out of the shower.

I'll have to find you one day.

______________________________________

A/N : thank you for reading this book! The next story will be up soon ig never thought anyone would actually bother reading this aah thanks all of you !!
"Anxiety"  was the theme for this story. The ocean represents his fear and anxiety. Thank you❤️