jace

January: Fabricated Stories and Broken Noses

              This isn’t a very good chapter; I’ll be rewriting it in a little while.
tuesday
And then the countdown began and when it reached one, every couple in my sister's house kissed and I really didn't understand how a timed kiss was supposed to bond people together for an entire 365 days. And maybe this was because I didn't have anyone with which to be bound.

monday
My friends liked to play this game called Backstory. The rules were simple: 1. Pick a random person 2. Create a backstory for them 3. Get the backstory rated by a jury (or a group or a couple, which ever term fits the setting) of peers. But Garrett and Jacob liked to make things difficult--which was one of the reasons they got along so well. In hindsight, it's easy to see why we only hung out with each other.

"Okay Jacob," Garrett looked out over the sea of heads in the lunchroom--he didn't have to strain himself to do so. "Her," he pointed at a heavyset sophomore sitting with a group of quiet girls, which all seemed to be incredibly involved in the novels they were reading.

"You have to include a fire truck, a flock of geese and at least one Harry Potter book. Go!"

Jacob rolled his eyes and smirked. "You could at least fucking try to make it difficult." He seemed to ponder for a moment before launching into his spiel. "Her name's Margaret, her father was the best fucking fire truck mechanic in the nation, so gifted they called him The Wizard. Every afternoon he'd go to the park and sit on a large rock while he pondered his and the lives of others. No one dared inhabit that rock; they all knew it as the Sorcerer's Stone."

Garrett rolled his eyes, while I smiled. That was a good one.

"One day, while feeding a flock of geese, a loud shriek rang out scaring the geese and they just so happened to leave behind a baby, Immaculate Conception. The Wizard then named her Margaret. The end," he beamed at us as if he'd just created the greatest backstory ever--though there would be no way to prove it.

"Boo!" Garrett threw a handful of fries at Jacob. "That was about her dad, not her."

"Oh, shut the fuck up. It was still good! And what the hell are you doing?" He plucked the fries from the table and his hair and the floor and popped one in his mouth. "Don't waste good food like that."

Garrett crossed his arms, "Ask jace."

Then they were both looking at me and Jacob said, "jace, what do you think?"

"I don't think you should eat those, bacteria is instantly--"

"What do you think about the story jace?" Garret interrupted, smacking the contaminated fried potatoes out of Jacob's hands.

I shrugged, "Primarily, there was a serious lack of profanity."

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Ha ha, motherfucker."

"But Garrett's right, it wasn't about her."

Garrett rejoiced.

"But it was a decent story."

Jacob rejoiced.

"All things considered, I give it a four out of 10."

Jacob's mouth dropped open and threw his--rather small--hands up in the air, "But you said it was good!"

"I said 'decent.'"

"Alright Asshat, your turn." He stood up and observed the cafeteria before pointing to an extremely chatty senior. "You have to include a bright pink balloon, a traffic light, and a grizzly bear. Go!"