jace

December: The Need to Breathe

Not too sure about this chapter. It may be rewritten if I get a little time.

thursday
"I don't need a psychiatrist anymore." I was looking through the window to my right, watching as Lincoln County rolled past us. I had come to dread every trip I took to the Commercial sphere because it meant staring politely into the face of the man that was trying to ruin my family.

My father looked at me from the corner of his eye, "Why's that?"

I shrugged, "Because I'm fine."

"No one says you aren't fine. We just want to give you someone to talk to Buddy."

Buddy, that was the only nickname that I was afforded and it only reared it's head when someone thought I was going to get all schizophrenickie.

"I have plenty of people to talk to."

"jace...please, don't make this difficult."

"I'm sorry."

He stopped the car in the front of dr. carmichael's building in the Commercial Sphere and turned to look at me. I saw a lot of myself in him, mainly the eyes and ears and unconscious seriousness. And for a moment I actually thought that I could grow up into a man like my father, but for the first time in my life, I didn't want to. I didn't want my kindness taken for granted, I didn't want my wife to cheat on me and I didn't want my own son to betray me.

"There isn't anything wrong...is there? He's not...treating you badly, is he?"

Technically?

I sighed and shook my head, "No."

wednesday
For the first time in a long time, I stepped foot into Edgerton-Forrester High School's cafeteria and it was just as chaotic as I remembered. I side stepped the long lines and the clusters of students and found an empty table in the back. I laid the contents of my lunch box in front of me--aside from Mr. Searly's bag of apples.

"jace?" Elizabeth was quickly approaching me, her book bag over one shoulder and her hair flowing freely behind her and all of a sudden I felt as if I'd been caught doing something that I wasn't meant to be doing.

"Hello."

"What are you doing here?" She asked, she sat across from me with wide eyes and a bright smile. "I thought you didn't like eating in here."

"I don't, I'm here meeting someone."

Her brow furrowed, "Who? Garrett and Jacob don't eat lunch this period."

"I know."

And then Alana approached the table, looking from me to Elizabeth with a confused look on her face. And then I guess something clicked because Elizabeth frowned and hopped up, grabbing her bag from the table.

Alana smiled, "Hi, I'm Alana."

"Hi," Elizabeth said and she tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. I didn't understand why she'd become so uncomfortable all of a sudden. Then she turned to me and said, "I'll see you later," before scurrying away.

"jace, do you think that I know more about girls than you?" Courtney asked when she picked me up that day in her 1988 Volkswagen. I'd recounted the occurences of my lunch period to her and she didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"Yes."

"Then you should believe me when I say that Elizabeth likes you."

I felt my brow furrow and I shook my head, "No, no she doesn't."