jace

January: Revelations and Labeling

saturday

My father came home for the first time in a long time that day. He'd been "staying with friends" for four months, and we'd go out to dinner every other Wednesday to spend "quality time together." My mom would cook me dinner every night and then slip off to her room for the rest of the night, I think she was ashamed.

My father called me into the kitchen where he and my mother both looked miserable and tired. He stood at the front of the kitchen table with his arms crossed and he wore a Nebraska State University sweatsuit with food stains on the pant legs.

"jace, we need to talk to you."

"Okay." I wasn't sure who to look at, because neither of them looked to sure of what was happening. They were both exchanging glances without saying anything, it seemed as if each of them had forgotten what the other looked like.

"jace," my father finally said, turning to face me--my father was big on eye contact. "We've decided to get a divorce."

I frowned, my eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of them. "But...why?"

My mother sighed, "Your father doesn't think that we can make this work."

He rolled his eyes, "I think that you were sneaking around for over a year."

She let out a scoff, her frustration was obvious. "You didn't give me a chance to explain."

"Explain what?"

And my father called my mom a whore and my mom called my father an inconsiderate ass and I was crying tears that felt more like acid bleeding from my eyes. Because this was only the second time that they'd argued in front of me and it was proving to be the one that would tear them apart.

"You need to accept the fact that you ruined this. And you," my father turned to face me, "need to grow up. There are lots of kids that have to deal with much worse than this." Then he grabbed his car keys and left, slamming the door behind him.

And I never understood why my father said that, no one should be told that their sorrows don't matter just because larger sorrows exist. No one should be told not to feel simply because feeling poses a slight inconvenience. My tears didn't dry just because he wanted them to, if anything it made them run more freely.

And I was wondering if there was anyone in the Overton family that wasn't selfish, because we all seemed to share that personality trait.

sunday

I sat in my room at Courtney's in silence, I didn't feel much like talking or being bothered.

The room had really become mine; the clothes in the closet were mine, Courtney made me change the sheets and sweep the carpet and if I didn't keep it clean I got in trouble. Graded tests were on the dresser and posters were on the walls, it's personality matched mine, unlike the one I had back home.

Eli came in at about 7 pm. He sat down next to me, making a habit of not making eye contact. I knew that my sister had sent him in, she probably feared saying the wrong thing. "Your parents--and Courtney--think that you should stay here for awhile. Until your parents figure out what's going on."

I tossed this idea around for awhile, I had always liked Courtney's house and at that point in time she and Eli seemed like better role models than my parents. I drew a new conclusion. "I think that I should stay here permanently."

"Oh," he nodded and shrugged. "Sure."

monday

A new girl transferred into our band class, her name was Amy and she played the flute. She was really talented and talked with a slight accent. And I had never seen Garrett stare at anything as long as he stared at Amy. As soon as we stepped out of class Jacob began to pry and tease without skipping a beat.

"Does Garrett--fucking--Key have a crush?"

Garrett glared at him and shook his head, "I don't even know her."

"You sure did stare at her for a long damn time, right jace?"

I shrugged, "Maybe he sees something in her that we don't see."

Jacob frowned, "That's really fucking poetic."

"Um, thank you?"

By this time in the conversation Garrett's cheeks had turned bright red and he was shrinking into his coat. "You guys are kind of loud."

"jace is the new ladies man you know," Jacob said. "Maybe he can help you."

I shook my head, "I'm actually not very good with girls...or people in general for that matter."

Garrett turned to face us, causing us to stop right in the middle of the hallway. "You guys suck at giving advice, especially since I didn't ask for it."

Jacob smirked, "You always give me advice that I don't ask for."

"But you still need to hear it, there's a difference." And they kept arguing even though we had less than sixty seconds to get to class and I was glad that even in a sea of changes, some things were staying the same.

saturday

Elizabeth, Garrett and Jacob played a big part in moving my things from my mom's house and into Courtney's, it was pretty easy sense Garrett had his license and had commandeered his mom's minivan.

We all sat on my bedroom floor, packing boxes tight and taping them up. Labeling them and sliding them into the hallway.

"Are you excited jace?" Elizabeth asked me, packing a box full of books and labeling it in slanted handwriting.

I shrugged, "I'm only moving in with my sister because my mother cheated on my father with my psychiatrist. So, no...not really."

"Are you excited Garrett?" Jacob asked, smirking and leaning his elbows on a packed box.

Garrett rolled his eyes, "Why would I be excited, moron?"

"I saw you talking to the new girl yesterday, all nervous and shit." He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled wider as Garrett's cheeks turned bright red.

"I talk to a lot of people," he mumbled.

"Just admit it, you fucking like her!"

Garrett seemed like the smallest person in the room at that moment--even though that was easily Jacob. He was cowering against my bed and keeping his eyes focused out of the window.

I cleared my throat, "Leave him alone Jacob."

"Do you have a crush Jacob?" Elizabeth asked, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Nope, I'm flying solo."

Elizabeth gave him a skeptical look, "Right."

"If you must know, I have yet to meet a girl that can handle my immaturity." Jacob crossed his arms and leaned against my bed, looking very satisfied with himself.

Garrett scooped up a cardboard box and got to his feet, "I'll be right back."

"I'm coming too."

And then he and Elizabeth were out of the room, leaving Jacob and I alone. And then Jacob was asking me what it was like to have a girlfriend and I could tell that Jacob was hiding more than he was revealing. I shrugged, "It's okay I guess."

"What's so fucking great about having a girlfriend?" He started shoving things into a box in front of him--pillows, blankets clothes, whatever he could get his hands on really. He seemed frustrated as he said, "Having friends is just as good right? It is for me."

"I don't know, it's good to have someone to share things with I guess. It feels nice to be admired by the person that you admire. And on bad days it's always nice to know that there's always that one person that can make you smile."

Jacob seemed to think about it for awhile, before nodding and continuing to pack. "I guess I understand it."

And I realized that that was the most sincere moment the two of us had ever had in our seven years of friendship.