ruination ➤ REWRITING

twenty.

LIFE WAS PRECIOUS, ESPECIALLY AMONG A COMMUNITY THAT FOUGHT WARS AS OFTEN AS THUNDER WAS ACCOMPANIED BY LIGHTNING. Nela always considered herself to be the lightning — striking, unpredictable and most importantly, lethal. She was a tremendous warrior, given highest honors by Lexa herself and yet — she had defied death more times in the past weeks than most warriors did in a lifetime. Her life was precious to somebody pulling the strings, but she didn't know why.

When she came to, she kept her eyes closed. The warrior didn't know what she'd be facing or who. How long had she been out? How long had she been laying on the forest floor? Then a question flashed through her mind like lightning through the forest on a rainy night. What if she was dead?

Light eyes peeled open reluctantly, unsure if they were going to see a sky, a warrior, or perhaps the afterlife. When things came into focus, Nela's eyes saw a face hovering over her. Harsh blue eyes looked curiously down at her, ashy brown hair falling towards her face. One of her hands reached up mindlessly to brush the hair away from her face as she turned her head.

To her side, she saw a small, blonde girl, staring at her with big brown eyes filled with worry. Standing behind her was a towering man with eyes so pale they almost seemed white. Nela couldn't feel anything in her haze, not yet. She was sure the pain would slowly follow, it usually always did after the haze of waking up.

"Salem," she whispered. "Get out of my face."

As soon as she heard him breathe out a laugh, the pain throughout her body flared. Her abdomen felt as if it were on fire like she was being stabbed by a burning blade a thousand times. Her ribs ached with every breath she took and her vision throbbed in and out of focus.

"How am I alive?" she continued to whisper. "I'm supposed to be dead."

One of her hands painfully reached up to her eyes, covering them as tears began to gather. If she was going to be continuously injured with what should be fatal wounds, shouldn't she just be dead already? Nela sniffled, taking in a deep breath before retreating her hand from her face.

"You're alive because we need you. The spirits must have deemed you too important to die on us so early." Oden's wise voice drifted throughout the room, finding it's way to Nela.

She shook her head, closing her eyes and letting a few tears escape. The pain was immense, almost unbearable and her spirit felt broken. For the first time in a very long time, the warrior felt like giving up. She was exhausted and tired of losing. Every battle had been lost. Every tide had changed and turned against her.

"Nela," Thesda's voice was nearer to the blonde and she heard the scraping of a chair against the floor. "The spirits saved you for a reason. You have fought the hardest battles and survived, you must be important. You must have a larger role to play."

"Your second is right," It was Salem's turn to throw in some wisdom. "I've never known anyone who's fought as hard as you have to get to where you are. You didn't fight all your life to give up here. The Nela I grew up with would never even dream of giving up."

"I'm so tired." The blonde breathed out, blinking out scalding tears from her thoughts and her pain. "I can't do it. I don't even know how long I've been unconscious, I don't know if I've missed the war. If I didn't, I can't even get up to fight it."

She opened her eyes, vision blurry with tears. Salem had circled around her bed to stand with Oden and Thesda, forming a trio of Nela's closest friends. Anya was nowhere to be seen, but Nela expected nothing less from the trikru leader. She knew her best friend was there in heart, she would always be.

"Anya won't walk into battle without her best warrior," Oden said. "Or her best friend."

"Trikru marches on skaikru in two days." Thesda piped up, reaching a hand out to grip Nela's. "Nyko doesn't want you to go in battle, but he knows he can't stop you."

"It's up to you, Nela. Whatever you decide we will help you." Salem spoke.

Her grey eyes shut once more as she went to wipe away her tears. She took in a deep breath, trying to hone in on her pain. If it didn't get better, Nela wouldn't even have the strength to walk. If it did get better, Nela faced the probability of dying on the battlefield from her own wounds. She had to hope and pray that she'd get better, for her fallen people.

"I have to wait and see," Nela spoke, her voice shaky. "I can't make a decision based on how I feel now." She looked away from her friends to the opposite wall, staring at the wooden walls. "Lincoln did this."

She could feel the air in the room change as she turned her head back to the trio. Each one of them had tensed up and were looking at each other, clenched jaws and rigid arms. "The traitor?" Salem questioned.

She nodded, shaking her head. "He did this to help skaikru. To help a clan of murderers before his own people." Nela's eyes grew stormy at the thought of the traitor. "I'm going to be the one to kill him."

"That right is yours." Oden commented, glancing at the door as Nyko walked in with some herbs and a bowl containing something. "Now please, get some more rest. If you're going to war, we need you as healed as you can be."

haha fun fact i had to rewrite this chapter like fifty thousand times because I CAN'T WRITE GOOD. but i mean otherwise haha whaddup fam.