faith. hope. love.

part 1 chp 1; LOVE

This part of the story will consist of my experiences with LOVE; who was a great guy, but wasn't the guy for me. In fact, you could say he was my first love.
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Love was outgoing. He was hyper, energetic, and playful. He always had a smile on his face no matter what he was doing.
He loved playing sports. Volleyball, basketball, tennis. His favourite sport of all time though, was soccer. He LOVED soccer. Soccer was his muse. It shaped him into the tricky player he is today.

Love was a bundle of absolute joy. He was genuine and sweet. Charismatic and unique. He was talented in almost everything he did. What more could you even ask for in a person?

I guess the only downside to Love was despite his name, he had no idea how to Love at all, actually. I don't blame him though, we were still young, reckless kids who ran around saying "I have a crush on you" to other kids we didn't even actually even have a crush on. But you know, having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the coolest thing cause you get to hold hands during recess!

I've known Love since we were 4 years old. Surprisingly, nothing has changed over the years. He's still the same old goofy, sporty, smarty pants he was years ago. I guess the only real difference now is, I had fallen in love with him.

Love had no idea. No idea at all that someone had actually fallen in love with him. No idea that someone else was using his own name on him. Love was being loved. And he had no idea.

We were chatting through text one night:

"Who do you like?" he asked.

"You..." I replied

"I'm serious Mo, which girl in our grade do you like?"

"I just said; I like YOU!"

"I'm not a girl dummy! Tell me who you like!"

I didn't care if he wasn't a girl, he was still the man of my dreams.
Love was clueless. Even with all the tiny little hints and signals, he was completely oblivious to the fact that he was being loved by someone who loved him more than he loved himself.

"Wanna play another game?" he asks.

"It's late and we have school tomorrow. I have to do the science homework too, ugh."

"Lol alright. Man I can't believe we won that 4v5 though, I'm so happy I finally reached Gold IV!"

"Good for you, Love."

"Imma head to sleep now, gn bby"

I screenshot the chat and post it on my twitter. I have butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
Did Love just call me "bby"? I mean it's not THAT big of a deal but still.

Love makes you think stupid things. It also makes you do stupid things. Love can make you stupid. Love can make you go crazy. Love can hurt.
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"Wait, which love are you talking about, Love the character, or actual love itself?", you may be asking...Well, in this case; both.

Love was someone you thought you could pour your everything into. Love was the person you thought you'd get to spend the rest of your life with. Love was the person who made you believe that life has a purpose. Love was the best thing that has ever happened to you, and to me. Love is patient, as it is kind. Love really made you the person you have become today. Love has shifted you. Love has changed you.

Love has left you...

to think that everything that you once held close to you, is all meaningless.
The memories love has left behind, shattered into a million pieces, left for you to pick up and try to put back together.
The laughs that you shared with love, turn into silence. Everything you once heard from love, was taken all back. Love wants to keep you silent.

So silent, you must be.

After everything we've done for love, this is what we get? But what about the hardships? The obstacles? Did none of that mean anything to love?

Love has kept us up all night,
but love has also taught us to fight.
Love helps make us right,
it allows us to truly shine under the light.
Love is easy? Not quite,
but it sure does show its might.

So I wonder, if love is so powerful, why does it seem like it weakens us a lot more when we lose it, as opposed to strengthen us when we have it?

Love is careless. Love is free. Love is...

Killing.