The New Ajin

2-6

When I was younger, I did my best to stay away from the "what ifs". Now, it feels like I can't escape them. 

What if my mother had never let me go. 

What if she had taken me to America with her.

What if I was never an Ajin. 

What if I never left Naoki. 

Lately it had felt as if Naoki stayed on my mind. Everything made me think of him. Training in the morning. Eating pancakes. Oranges. 

I could not smell an orange with out tearing up. Soon, oranges were no longer offered as part of the diet as those around me caught on. 

I tried to calm my mind as I walked in silence to the gym where punching bags were located. Fighting had always seemed like a good outlet to release anger and frustration. 

I opened the doors to the gym and cool air whipped me in the face. This brought another memory. Ren. He always liked it freezing cold. 

I went to the corner of the large room where the rows of punching bags were. I went to the furthest one and placed my water bottle on the ground, leaning against the wall. I then adjusted my stance into a fighter's pose. Left foot staggered above the right. Knees bent. Hands raised. 

I took in a breath. 

Then released my pent up energy as I sent punch after punch to the black, beaten up bag. 

I lost track of everything. Time. Surroundings. Myself. 

When Kou found me, I was laying on the floor covered in my sweat. 

"Eri!" I remembered him yelling that, followed by his heavy, clumsy footsteps. 

"Baka..." I mumbled. 

"What?" he asked as he knelled next to me, "are you okay?"

"I'm...fine," I felt slow. I wasted too much energy here. I am the idiot. 

"Tosaki-san wants to talk to us," Kou said. 

"Hm."

"Do you need me to help you up?"

"Hm."

He stood up, grabbed me by the hands and yanked me forward. He tumbled backwards and I ended up landing on him. My head was on his chest and I heard his steady heartbeat. I felt the tears start to build up, and somehow Kou felt this. He made no attempts to stand up. He rubbed my back and let me cry. 

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting in a room with Tosaki-san standing at a board. Since I was little, I was good at hiding my emotions. It was not until I hit a breaking point, where people could really see what I was going through. Kou was the only person in the meeting that knew I had cried. 

"There are thirteen people left," Tosaki-san started talking, "The enemy will definitely show up near one of them. So, our best bet is to set up an ambush. The question is who to set the ambush around."

"Why not the next on the list, that Kishi guy? We don't want any more people killed, right?" Kou said. 

"It's no good. Dr. Kishi has already gone into hiding with a heavy security detail. Even I have not been told where he is," Tosaki-san said.

"If only you were on the list, we could have used you as bait," Kei said with his usual bored expression. 

"Shut up, Nagai," Tosaki-san said agitated. 

"Anyway, right now, theres only one person who'll do," Kei said. 

"Right. The only one who fits all our conditions..." Tosaki-san said. He grabbed a picture and pinned it on the magnetic board, "...is target number 14. The Minister of Health, Labor and Welfare."

"You're just going to leave those other people to die!?" Kou yelled as he stood up in anger.

I knew that Kou was coming from a right place, a humane place. My logical side, however, agreed with Tosaki-san and Kei.

"All the targets are currently under massive police protection, and we don't know when or where they'll be attacked. There's nothing we can do," Tosaki-san said. 

Kou looked at me for help. 

I looked away, "there's nothing we can do if we don't even know where they are."

Kou sat back down but when I looked at him, he still looked upset. He leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.

"But, Mr. Tosaki can get access to the minister's schedule, and if we have that, we might be able to guess the time and place of the attack. Also, we might learn Sato's patterns before it is the minister's turn to be assassinated, "Kei said. 

"Right. And then I'll work out some kind of plan in order for us to be able to join the fight with out any issues. I have compiled some possible places where the attack might occur based on what we have now. So we'll prepare a specific strategy for each of those places. The remaining question is, how do we fight him?" Tosaki-san said. 

"We have four Ajin,"Kei said, "the enemy has us beat in numbers, but if we prepare, we should have what we need."

The meeting went on and on as Tosaki-san went over the many strategies for the different locations. I knew it was important for me to pay my full attention to the matter in front of me, but I could not help the fact that my mind wanted to wonder. 

"Okay, lets take a break for now," Tosaki-san said. I felt relieved when he said that. 

"I have some emails I need to answer," Tosaki-san said as he started walking away.

"How can you be so relaxed, Tozaki-san?" Kou yelled.

"Rushing things will only lead to mistakes. Sato won't be able to find Dr. Kishi as easily as he thinks," Tosaki-san said, "and one more thing, Nakano, my name is Tosaki. Get it right already."

Tosaki-san walked away and as he walked past Kei, he looked down at Kei's tablet. I could a "hmm" before he continued walking.  I had been watching Kei, as well. He had scribbled with red all over the plan with his own contributions. 

"That's nice," I said to Kei, pointing to his tablet. 

"I know right," he said as he continued examining it. He then put the tablet down, "I don't usually do this, but can you tell me what you think about it?"

I smiled, "really?"

He shrugged, "you're the second smartest person here, you know, behind me." He slid the tablet over to me. 

He pointed to one spot, "I'm having some trouble here."

For the next thirty minutes, Kei and I went back and forth about the new strategies. Kou sat quietly next to us and just listened to what we said. 

At some point, he had held my hand under the table. 

Later on that day, Kou and I went walking outside the complex. 

"Can I be honest?" Kou asked. 

"Of course," I said confused. I looked at him but he was looking down at the grass. 

"I wish you didn't have to fight. In all the strategies, you were in a dangerous position," Kou said, "and- and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

I smiled sadly at him and reached for his hand, "it's going to be okay."

"I know. I know. You're the best fighter that we have. I know that. I just wish it didn't have to be this way," he said. 

"I do, too," I said, "but this is our life now."

"Do you think we would have meet each other if we weren't Ajins?" he asked. 

I laughed, "not a chance in hell."

"What?!" he laughed, "you didn't even think about it!"

"I didn't need to!"

"You're harsh."

"Just realistic."

He laughed and pulled me closer to him. 

"I wish it could be like this forever," he said, "just me and you."