Death Note Ask or Dare/ WTF!?

The Intruder, Part 1

Partial credit to @Clareneko for her help with this super special chapter, and character.

Meredith: Hello! We are back once again! And today... Well, I'm not sure what we're going to do. Hopefully, a convenient plot twist will spice things up a little! *wink wink* I think I'll take a break, for once...

-Meanwhile-

L: Mello... Do we really have to do this?

Mello: Yes! I need to prove my worth!

Near: How will THIS prove anything? *gestures to obstacle course*

Mello: Funny you should ask! The majority of the course tests strength, but in some cases, you need logic to advance. Also, memory, bravery, and quick thinking comes in handy. It is the ultimate test of capability!

Obstacle Course: *sparkle sparkle*

L: When did you have time to assemble this?

Mello: Don't worry about it. Just watch.

Near: This is such a narrow minded test! It relies entirely on physical fitness, not mental capacity. It was clearly constructed to Mello's advantage.

Mello: So what I'm hearing is... You're chicken? Also, you did not listen to what I said earlier. It tests intelligence plenty!

Near: No, I'm reasonable.

Mello: A word that often works its way into a chicken's vocabulary.

L: You do realize that there is no reason to compete anymore..? We're all trapped in some sort of limbo. I don't currently need a successor.

Near: (Besides, I already proved myself to be more worthy.)

Mello: SHEEP

L: Near, Mello... Why don't you two figure this out on your own, so I can--

Misa: HEEELP!!!

Near: Not again...

L: Misa, if you misplaced your mascara, please look a little longer before shrieking about it.

Misa: It's not that! What do you think I am, some sort of drama queen!?

Mello: You're really going to give it to us that easy...? YES OF COURSE YOU'RE A DRAMA QUEEN. Remember when you tried to strangle a pizza boy for looking in the general direction of Light's butt?

Misa: That was necessary. You know he's inexplicably attractive to other guys! Anyway, we're getting off topic. This time, there is cat fur in my concealer!

Mello: Enough about your stupid concealer already...

L: Is there even a cat here...? What color was it?

Misa: White. And it's not stupid! It's expensive, and only available in three stores nationwide, I'll have you know!

Mello: *smirk* Maybe it was Near's hair. I could see him trying to steal some and then accidentally shedding in the container. That would explain how he manages to be so utterly pasty and white.

Near: Ha, ha. Can we not talk about this anymore? She clearly just wants attention--

Light: *storms in* Okay, who's been stealing my things?

L: Could you elaborate?

Light: Three shirts, two ties, a hairbrush, toothbrush, and... Other things.

Misa: Oh no!! See, guys? Something's going on. Misa~Misa knew it!

L: Well, since my brain is decaying due to boredom, I'll definitely help you locate these items. Although, it would be helpful if you told me what the " other things" are.