Sander sides x Reader

He catches you Self Harm (Virgil)

Warning: There will be mentons of attempts of suicide and self harm in the following chapters after this. If you are not comfortable with this topic or this is a trigger for ou, please do not read this. Love you,

Deana

(Y/N) p.o.v.

I can't keep doing this! Work is hard and I'm barely making enough to pay for food. My mom hasn't called in a week. How am I supposed to stay 'calm' when everything is falling around me?! 

The razor is dragged across my leg, blood seeping from the fresh wound onto the towel and blade. Tears fall from my eyes  as I do it again and again, small sobs seeping through my lips as I cry. None of this was fair. My Uncle passing, my boss firing me, everything was going wrong. And Virgil, poor Virgil..He would blame this on himself if he ever caught me like this. Vulnerable with blood pooling around my cold body, my razor held in a loose grip by my cold, plae hand.

Another sob falls from my lips as I throw the razor, pulling my leg to my chest and crying harder. My body shakes with convulsions, my ears ringing and blocking out any sound. Why did he ask me out? I'm worthless. I'm rude and bipolar. I get emotional easily and I'm clingy. Why would he ever love someone like me? I'm not good enough fro him...I should just give up and save him the pain of my clingy, tourterus love.

"(Y/N)?!" I look up, having heard my name from a soothing voice. My heart crunches as I hear footsteps get closer to the door and see the door knob turn. Don't just sit here and let him see you, get up and hide!  The door opens and I stay curled up in the corner, it being too late to move. Virgil runs over to me and kneels next to me. " (Y/N)! I'm so sorry, oh my gosh!" He mumbles, seeing the blood staining my shirt and shorts. " Did you...?" I nod and he picks me up and takes me to the bathroom. He sets me in the bathtub and grabs a rag, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. "Why?" He ask, his voice quite and shaky. I stay looking at the ceiling. " YOu deserve better. Everyone deserve better than me. I'm not worth your time-" I'm cut off from him chuckling, causing me to look at him. Tears were falling from his eye as he looks at me with adoration, passion, love. He pushes a strand of hair behind me ear and caresses my check. " (Y/N), I love you. You are perfect in my eyes. Sure, you have a short temper and you get hurt easily but I find it heartmeting when you run to me and hug me tightly because you just need to be held. I find it amazing how you can go from giggly to a badass in a few seconds. You can't control your temper, but I think you deserve to blow off steam from time to time. And Roman asks for it, so it's not our fault. And I know your job fired you, we have the same e-mail. I can find you a job, or you could work for Thomas. (Y/N), I'm willing to help you. All you have to do is ask, doll." I cry more and wrap my arms around his neck, sobbing into is shoulder. Virgil smiles and holds me back, kissing the top of my head. " I love you too Virgil...I'm so sorry.." He shakes his head, pulling away from the embrasse and tending to my leg again. " Don't be sorry, just come to me before you go to the razor. I don't wanna lose my angle."