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Chapter 2 : Lost

Tim and I haven't talked much, theres not alot to say. I need to ask him something now though, which is why i'm walking towards where he is sitting. I have to give him a chance to go ahead on his own. Where i'm going i'm not sure i'll be back.

Tim's sitting across from the graves packing the small back pack I gave him.

"Tim."

He looks up at me, he knows what i'm going to say i can sense it.

"You don't ..." i start

He cuts me off. "You see those graves?" I look over at them and lower my head.

"Those, are why i do." he pauses "You see that one there?" he says pointing to Stacey's.

I nod.

"I told Emma this but not you, it didn't seem right at the time but there is no right time, is there? Not anymore, Stacey was my grand daughter."

I look at Tim, he's staring at the grave. He slowly looks up at me.

I nod at him understanding whats driving him forward now. Whatever i say won't be enough so instead i put my hand on his shoulder. He looks away and i move towards where my family are laid to rest. I don't know if or when i'll ever be back here so i make sure that this is etched in my mind, not that it won't be.

I grab my bergen, hoist it up onto my shoulders, steal a last glance across at the graves and start walking.

Tim falls in step beside me.

"You know we will never find the ones that killed our family, right Michael?"

"I know, that's why were going to kill every last one of them."

I can see him looking at me but i mean those words, every one of them.

"Count me in." and he looks forward in the direction we're heading.

Neither one of has looked back and i'm not going, i can't if i do i'll turn back and if that happend i'll never leave.

 *

I look at my watch, it'll be dark soon another hour maybe. 

"Tim here's our spot" I said pointing to a spot rght next to an old Oak tree. A small stone wall leading up to it. 

That would make one hell of a picture like something out of the shawshank redemption. Emma would love this, have loved this. The suns going own over the horizon casting the tree  in a red haze. It's amazing how you can just watch something with awe that you would have just taken for granted before. Sigh.

I move over to the base of the tree and unpack the sleeping bag, Tim puts his next to mine and we just crawl into them. Staring up at the canopy, letting the darkness wash over me. The night sky lighting up with the stars and the memories of times gone by. I don't know how long i stare up at the sky before I drift off to sleep.

When i wake it's starting to get light, the magic hour people call it, i never knew what that meant before. It's taken the events of the last few days for me to understand. It's the time of the day when the world is still asleep, the wind has a slight chill to it and it carries with it possibilities. The time when anything is possible, nothing seems implausible. It nevers stay like that though.

With the sleeping bags away i force down a breakfast bar we managed to salvage and some water. Then set off again. We're just walking, no destination, i think we both need to let fate, destiny whatever you want to call it, take us the right way. I don't know whats worse, the walking or the time that you have with your thoughts.

An abandoned house serves us as our next overnight stop. Then a hedge row, tree and finally a beach. The beach is dark though there was no cover leading here, wehad to seek refuge at the base of cliff. It's peacefull, the clear night sky, no moon, the waves gently lapping at the shore and the stars. Where the hell are we? What the hell are we doing? I can't answer them as I drift off to sleep.

It's light this time when i wake. I can see Tim down by the waters edge sitting staring out across the ocean. I grab my bergen and look for a breakfast bar. Rumaging around down near the bottom my hand comes across a folded sheet of paper and i pull it out. I don't remember putting anything in there like that. i never upacked everything i just stuffed all supplies and items we could in there.

I un-fold the piece of paper.

I just sit there staring at it, tears rolling down my face. Three little stick figures holding hands staring back at me with a house off to the side. Mummy, Daddy and Sarah written above them. 

Carefully re-folding the picture i put it in my breast pocket. Wiping my face on my sleeve, i notice something. Damn am i hungry. If want my revenge i need to mak sure i stay alive long enough to get it. Standing up, i walk down to Tim.

"Tim, we need to find a cave and some wood. We're going to have something warm for breakfast and some Tea."

Looking up a me Tim nods and stands, taking one last look at the ocean he walks down the beach collecting pieces of drift wood. I turn and go the other way doing the same. It's not long before we have a pile. Scanning the edge of the cliff i see a cave, moving all our supplies to the cave doesn't take long. Just inside on the left is a flat enough part of the floor to set a fire. It's not long before the flames are licking the underside of the pan and we have our first cup of Tea. Theres no millk but i don't care, it's hot and we have sugar, at least for now.

A tin of beans, warmed up over the fire, another cup of tea and i'm feeling better than i have done. I can't change what heppend and i can't bring them back but if they're watching over me they'll be trying to slap some sense into me.

It all comes down to one thing really. I smile at the memory of the shawshank redemption again, i loved that film.

"Get busy living or get busy dying."