Jonathan Crane (scarecrow) x reader OC

Chapter 8

 I remember all those good memories of my past. Opening up the windows to let in the slight breeze brush against my skin, curtains and all. I sat on the middle of the floor of my tiny room. Gazing around up at all my posters. Earphones plugged in, listening to classical music, shutting the world out. Browsing through my head in search for all my goals and dreams. Sometimes wondering what went wrong. I wasn't exactly proud of the person I was becoming. In fact I hated myself. It didn't help anymore that Dr. Crane made my fear show appearance again.

 How I longed to finally be cure from this ventral hell. There where times that taking my own life seem like the best option left. In today's society apparently suicide is not an option. They are wrong, it is in fact. When you die you leave everything behind, the only thing you take with you is yourself. At the point of death, all worries and troubles are lifted, peace comes at last. If only the hell inside my mind could end. Keep telling yourself your darkest hour only last an hour. I tried telling myself that believe me, the more days pass by the more I'm getting exhausted. 

Funny how things turn out, I thought as time passed by I was getting stronger, instead I'm just getting weaker. Feeling lonely isn't what I feel, I just feel like sticks and stones.

Thinking of ways how to say goodbye, all those people I'll leave behind, it's not like they even care. Why when we were alive they ignored us. Signs being displayed right in front of their faces of the Hades inside our minds. Be careful to say too much, be careful not to show a lot. Only those who's beautiful hearts remain the same will look close enough.

 The people who care will look deeper within the soul and it's hardships. Don't worry if I disappear one day, wipe those tears darling and move along. Blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault but mine. You are stronger then I'll ever be. The person you least expected turns out to be the one who left too soon. I deserve this for being too harsh with people. Maybe I was just trying to keep them alive while I struggled in the inside. Having no idea where this nightmare was born one haunts me. Whenever I'm at the brick of my losing it, I'm always told it's all in my head. Everybody is stressed your not the only one. 

Yes I know I'm not the only one like this, after hearing it so many times I made the mistake of telling else the same thing. Karma came to collect it's debut. Collecting mine for what I did. I'm still young and have a life ahead of me I know that. People are constanly talking about the beauty of life, but they don't know it can also be ugly at the same time.

Thomas Edison last words were: "It's very beautiful over there."I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's very beautiful. When I was alive no one listened, now that I'm dead don't you are cry or say my name. Because when I was still breathing you all called me crazy. Treat me the same way as you did when I was alive now dead. Hopefully Dr.Crane you'll be able to get me the hell out of this labyrinth. Before it's too late.