Misc

Caged

The people I look up to
Are now my enemies
I'm scared to live here
In case you learn the truth about me
Scared you'll kick me out for who I may be
You already say I'm disgusting
What am I supposed to think?

I will not call this home anymore
When all I feel is completely alone
Tired of listening to your bullshit and hate
If who I love is a girl and it's obviously fate
Then whispers to stop it, it's meant to be
You're too blind to actually see
Your love should have no boundaries
And you're only hurting me.

Asked constantly, 'why can't you just be happy'
'Why are you so dark and depressing'
Like there's something wrong with me
So I put on a fake smile
I hide my entire life
I'm living one big lie
All to keep you happy and survive
While I'm dying on the inside
Only really wanting to break down and cry
And I've learned to hate you
Cause of what you've forced me to do.

You say you're worried about me
Treat me entirely differently
What? Cause I'm a girl
I'm not another boy
So I should be treated like I'm five
And get laughed at for speaking my mind
What gives you the right to control my life?

You yell at me for my anxiety
Say you understand then get angry
You belittle my depression
Make it seem so small
And ask why I can't be happy
Well I don't fucking know why
I guess it's just another thing wrong with me.

Say you love and care, but you push me to suicide
Then I call you out and you blame it on me
Treat me like I'm being petty
Treat me like I'm fucking stupid
Say it's me making me miserable
But who's controlling my life
And who's slowly breaking my mind?

I will never call this place my home
Cause there's people like you living here
Making me feel entirely alone
Then wonder why I keep it inside
But you force me to live a lie
Telling me what I can and can't like
Treat me like I'm fucking five
Force me to be happy and smile
Won't let me express my style
And all this fucking time
It's felt like I've lived in a cage
Waiting till the day you open the door
And I can be free and fly away
And I will never go back.