Starship Walker

Billions of Suns

She felt secure: curled up in a soft, warm bed, snuggling under comfortable blankets. Around her, she heard comforting music and the friendly sound of chatting voices. At first, confused and exhausted, she thought she was a child again, safe at home with her parents in their cosy underground home beneath the floor of Hellas Basin. All around them were their relatives and friends, secure in their own artificial cavern-homes, joined by a snowflake pattern of passages. There was nothing to be anxious about. Nothing could threaten or injure them.

Then she remembered falling, and a wave of terror ran through her.

"Oops! Looks like she's awake. Look at her heart racing!"

The voice was unfamiliar.

"Great! Thanks, Nurse." This voice came from further away. It was Joan Rubilio, the ship's Executive officer.

Drifting back into consciousness, listening to the sounds around her, confused by her dream about home and her current situation, Gillian rediscovered something strange within herself. She had a separate part of her personality that observed her behaviour. It had watched her become elated by the experience of Walking in interstellar space, watched her fright when she fell down the light years, watched her childish dream of home. It watched her now, trying to bury herself deeper into her blankets. Beneath her immature teenage personality, with its small hopes and fears, Gillian possessed a clear, hard mind: a personality that examined her conduct, and that of those around her, calmly and without prejudices.

Gillian squeezed her eyes shut, tried to bury herself deeper into the warm blankets, and at once forgot this insight.

She heard footsteps. She remembered what had happened to her, and a felt a tremor of fear.

"How are you, Dear?"

For a moment, Gillian kept her eyes shut and continued to curl up tight beneath her warm blankets, but she realised that she couldn't deceive the monitoring equipment connected to her. And after her disastrous second Walk, she didn't want them to think any worse of her than they might already.

Gillian opened her eyes, peered up above her blankets and saw Joan Rubilio. She tried to speak, but her voice wouldn't work. She heard Doctor Morris whispering with the nurse. Then the Doctor spoke to Gillian, louder: "Just relax for a while, Gillian. You've been sedated."

It seemed a good excuse to return to sleep. But Gillian decided it was essential to show eagerness for a return to work. She stretched out her arms and legs, attempted to yawn and tried to sit up, but failed.

"Whoa!" Joan exclaimed.

"Relax, Gillian." Dr Morris appeared in her field of vision and shone a light into both her eyes, then turned to glance at some nearby instruments.

"She seems ok," she said.

Trying to speak, Gillian opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. She managed a croak, "How long have I been out of it?"

"About twenty hours."

"Gosh!"

"Well, you had a pretty bad day."

 "Sorry, I messed up."

Dr Morris gave her a glass of liquid, with a light pink colour. "Take this, it'll soothe your throat. We've had tubes down you."

Gillian felt reassured and calmed by the relaxed, professional routine. Joan sat on the edge of the bed as Dr Morris went about her business. Gillian attempted to sip at her glass. But when she tilted it, the liquid shot into her face. They were in a one-G environment.

"Oh, shit!" she cried out, and burst into humiliated tears. The nurse rushed over to clean her up. Dr Morris took the glass away.

"I still can't handle one-G!" Gillian wailed. "I messed up as a Walker and I can't even drink without making a mess!"