The Last of the Guardians Part 2 - A Hobbit Fan Fiction

Chapter 19 - The Last Light of Durin's Day

Fool, she cursed herself, you stupid, stupid fool.

The darkening sky frowned back at her, ever silent and ever disapproving. The day's flight had held no joy for her. She was constantly changing her height, diving lower and soaring higher, looping back on herself, all in a vain attempt to escape that horrible, twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach.

The discomfort grew whenever she thought of the events of the morning. His closeness, his nervous breath on her cheek, his eyes alight with apprehension and desire.

She groaned and rolled over in the air. "Stop thinking," she told herself, gripping her head in her hands and squeezing her eyes shut. "Stop thinking."

But it was no use. His gentle voice echoed around her head, his face remained the only thing she could see. An exasperated moan forced its way out of her lungs and she dived again, allowing the exhilarating feeling of the wind rushing passed her to blow the dwarf from her mind.

The rocky ground rose up to greet her, but at the last moment she pulled away to climb up into the sky once more.

This is wrong, her mind screamed. Stop thinking. You can't love him. Stop thinking. Guardians do not love.

Elves, dwarves, men - they all felt love in their hearts. Even the animals of the world knew love. But not Guardians. Love was for lesser creatures.

"Fili is not a lesser creature," she told the sky. The words sounded wrong on her tongue. She was missing something. "It is not they who are inferior, but us who assume our superiority."

Nema chased her mind round and round as she waited for the dwarves to reach the mountain. The uneven, desolate land made their journey laboriously slow, and only provided her with more time to torment herself.

"I cannot love him. I cannot," she said. But then an idea struck her. "I do not know what love is. I have never felt it before, so how do I know this is love?"

For a moment, she felt her heart lighten. But the memory of the balcony roof refused to let her go so easily. "He was going to kiss me. That is what people do when they are in love, isn't it? And I was going to let him do it. I do love him."

You can't. You are a Guardian and Guardians do not love.

"Then I do not want to be a Guardian!" she screamed. If she could not love then what was the point to life anyway? "I want to be free."

As soon as the words were out her heart lightened, and a beaming smile appeared on her face. She knew what she was going to do.

The sun was beginning to sink behind the distant mountains, throwing a last glance of orange light across the sky. A sudden cry came up from the Lonely Mountain, calling her down again. Her eyes raked the mountainside, surprised that the dwarves had already reached Erebor.

When the glint of the sun off a dwarven sword caught her eye, she angled her wings forward and dove towards it. She counted the dwarves on her approach. A group of five, including Thorin and the hobbit, were standing on a wide ledge jutting from the side of the mountain. Balin and Dwalin were still on their way up, followed by Bifur and Bombur. Gloin brought up the rear, making ten.

Ten?

Hastening her descent, Nema landed beside Thorin and pulled him around to face her. "Where is Fili?" She screeched. "And Kili? Where are Bofur and Oin? Where are they?"

"Nemaiza, calm yourself!" Thorin commanded, grabbing her by the shoulders to keep her still. "Fili chose to stay behind in Laketown. He is-"

"He did what?"