Secondhand Smoke [m.h]

Part Twenty-One.

My legs stretched across his lap as we sat on the couch together watching films.
"Want to order pizza or something?" He suggests, running his fingers through his curls.
I nod, "Sure, that sounds good."
He somehow guesses my pizza order correctly and places it for delivery as we don't care to go out right now.
My mind begins to wander.
"Matty?"
He looks at me, "Hm?"
"Can you tell me when you want someone else?" I ask, it coming out more shaky than I had hoped.
He immediately sets his phone down and moves even closer to me, looking into my eyes.
"What are you on about, love?"
I bite on my lip, "I'm not perfect like the girls in your video, I'm so flawed and I'm.. normal. I'm just me. There's so many other—"
"No, I'm not letting you finish that. Darling, do you think we'd be together if I wasn't sure? You are so fuckin' beautiful and I'm lucky to even know you, let alone be your boyfriend. You're somehow mine in this world full of people. Don't you compare yourself.. we're in this together and I want you. Only you. I don't want them, I want you. Every part of you. I want you in my life, I want to wake up every day with you next to me.. I want to hear your jokes and your stories.. I want to love you the way you deserve and be good for you. You're you, yes.. and don't let that ever change. You're so beautiful on the inside and the outside, they've got nothing on you." He says, cutting me off.
I simply blink away the tears that threaten to fall and lean into his chest as he begins to rub my back.
"You're everything to me, love. I'm terrified that you'll leave me one day because it's really you that deserves someone better." He mumbles.
I sit up and shake my head, "No. Do you know how insanely lucky I am to be sitting here with you? To be living with you? To love you? Do you know how many people would literally murder me to be in my place right now? Not to be extra about it but my boyfriend is fucking Matty Healy! Everyone knows you to be this insanely flawed yet perfect human being with immense amounts of talent and they love you to death. I was lucky enough to actually get to know you and see the deeper parts of you and who you are. I don't want to know me if you're not with me, too. I wasn't me before I met you. You pushed me to come out of my comfort zone, to be me.. I never knew I could be cared for like you care for me. We've had bumps in the road but that's the best part, isn't it? We're in love and we're going to fight and fuck up sometimes but we've been there for each other and loved each other despite it all. Don't say I deserve better because you're the best for me. You fit in all of the places where I'm empty. I love every single part of you and I don't ever want to leave." I snap back, tired of listening to that nonsense.
He pulls me into a hug and we hug for a while.
Part of me thinks I hear a sniffle come from him.
It'll break me if he's crying.
"I love you." We say at the same time, holding on to each other tightly.

The pizza comes about an hour later and we eat together as we watch Netflix.
We feed each other and focus in on the show, paying attention to the plot and characters.
I always forget how good pizza really is.
The house is fairly warm but we still have a blanket draped over the both of us.
A fight scene begins and the gunshots startle me, making Matty laugh.
I laugh and playfully shove him with my free hand, "Arsehole."
"Hey! It's cute, I swear." He grins, taking another bite of his pizza.
A sound that doesn't belong in a fight scene is heard. It's a grand sound that I wouldn't get sick of.
The doorbell echoed through the staircase and I liked the vintage tone to it.
"Are you expecting someone?" I ask him, furrowing my eyebrows.
He shakes his head, "Should I get my gun?"
"What the— first of all, no. Second of all, you have a gun!?" I question.
He chuckles, "Nope. Not here, at least."
"Not funny." I roll my eyes.
I set down my half-eaten slice of pizza on the lid of the pizza box to come back to.
Matty comes with me as we approach the doors slowly.
"Who could have access to get through? Did the pizza guy come back or something?" I ask Matty, quietly.
He peers outside and shakes his head, "No."
"Do you see them?" I ask, folding my arms.
He nods, "Yeah, but I don't know him."
"Don't answer it, then.." I try but trail off, remembering that he does what he wants to.
He shrugs and walks past the first door, unlocking the outside door and opening it slightly.
I see the familiar figure and face standing outside and my heart sinks to the floor.

"Dad?"

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this is a shitty short chapter i KNOW i have been gone for so long i am SORRY and will try to post more :)))

this is unedited and trash i'm SORRY.

xo
- adrianna