How To Love A Dead Boy

Chapter 39 | His Simple Gift

HIS SIMPLE GIFT

Shrinking away into my scarf and jacket, I stare aimlessly into the garage. The station wagon is out of focus as I try to piece myself back together and function again. Breathing heavily into the wool of the blue scarf, I slightly turn to Noah and Darren. 

Noah is hunches over the open bonnet and Darren subtly checks his phone. I look back over the car again. It's exactly what he wanted, but would I get such a wave of emotion every time I saw it in driveway? Could I stand such a thing? Perhaps it could be my permanent reminder of Ryden; my souvenir along with his book. Maybe if I did go looney one day, then I could look at this car, remind myself that I watched him die, and I wouldn't be so affected by his departure... But was the purchase my decision to make?

Breathing in, I tightly close my eyes before letting it out and opening my eyes again. I jump when I notice Ryden sitting in the driver's seat. Walking over to the passenger's door, I open it up and sit down. I look to him and he sighs. 

"What are we going to do Lucy?" he asks. I shrug and look out the windscreen. 

"It's what you wanted. Cheap, blue and it's rusty. Plus it's in my price range," I reply, keeping my voice low. 

"But I thought that we were both going to pick out a car. It was meant to be the last thing we would do together as us," he says. I crease my brow. 

"You are here though," I go to say, turning back to the driver's seat.

I freeze when I notice that he's no longer sitting there.

My mouth drops slightly and I spend a few seconds trying to make sense of what's going on... The Keeper had told me that he would keep Ryden busy, and I was sure that he would do anything to keep Ryden from leaving and coming to me... so, had I really just hallucinated Ryden just then? Had that really just been my subconscious talking to me? 

"What do ya think of it little lady?"

The sudden closeness and loudness of Darren's voice causes me to jump and let out a little scream. I turn to Darren, wide eyed and he looks at me with an eyebrow raised in confusion. I feel my cheeks flush.

"Uh... I'm sorry. I've just been a bit jumpy of the late," I try to explain, "B... but to answer your question, I'm not really sure if I'll get it... Um, how much is it?" I ask. His face relaxes and he rubs his chin thoughtfully. 

"I'll give it to you for £850 and your first two services are free. Is that enough to tempt you?" he asks, letting out another whistle through his missing tooth. I bite the inner of my lip. 

The Keeper will murder you if you don't buy a car and have one in the driveway by week's end. But then Ryden might be upset if I buy the car without him. But the Keeper will be disappointed and probably buy Ryden something he won't like. But Ryden trusted me that we would do this together. 

Just make a bloody decision Lucy, my sense finally kicks in, it's your money after all. Buy the car. It's cheap and fits the description Ryden gave you. So what if the station wagon brings back just as many memories? He'll be gone soon anyway, and if it really affects him just throw a sheet over the top. 

I realise that I've spent a long while without giving Darren any kind of response. I look up at him, feeling beads of sweat forming on my forehead. My heart is beating so fast I half expect it to break through my rib cage and I have to stop myself from hyperventilating otherwise I might just pass out. 

"I... I..." I stutter, "I'll buy it."  

Darren smiles.

Noah looks around from the bonnet, with an eyebrow raised.