Misfit Theater Company (Wattys Winner 2018)

14. The Mystery of the Lampshade Strikes Again

           

It's finally Friday, and after the last ten-minute play has been performed, Mrs. Permala makes an announcement that causes Patti to become more flustered than I've ever seen her.

"With the rest of our time in class," Mrs. Permala starts, "I'd like for your groups to get together and begin choosing your one act plays."

I dart my eyes over to Patti, but Patti only has one focus: getting to the script we want. Here's what I know about this play everyone is fighting over:

·         Most importantly, it's apparently the funniest play in the entire high school play library (however big that actually is). Mrs. Permala opens it up for performances once every two years so that the audience doesn't get too sick of the jokes. Apparently it's that good.

·         It's called "The Mystery of the Lampshade" and is supposedly a combination between Clue and The Bachelor.

·         It has parts for three females and one male, but apparently one of the female parts is way funnier with a guy playing it. That's the main argument Patti keeps coming back to for why we should get it instead of Layla's group.

·         It allows for the girls to not only be hilarious, but also look beautiful, since we would have to wear gowns. This plays into Patti's plan for how she is going to ask Moth to the girls-ask-the-boys dance coming up in a few weeks.

Clearly, this is a big deal to Patti and Moth and Thatcher. I've never seen the play, but I trust their judgement. If they want the play this badly, then I do too. Plus, now it's not just about the play, it feels more like a personal vendetta. I have to beat Gina to the script.

As Mrs. Permala finishes introducing the one act assignment, Patti scoots to the edge of her seat and prepares to make a run for it, but when I look across the auditorium, I see Layla do the same, plus her two friends. Gina sits on the other side of me, but when she catches me staring, I quickly turn my head back. It's on, Gina.

Then Mrs. Permala says the worst four words she could possibly tell this group of script-hungry high school actors: "First come, first serve."

At that, Patti springs up and starts racing up the stairs. She is the first up, but Layla is close behind as they both head the charge to the theater book room across the arts wing hall. Gina leaps up too, so I start to run up the stairs after Patti.

Gina's wearing her stupid combat-looking boots, so it's easy for me to catch up to her, especially once we get into the hall. The doorway into the library is closed, so we're all jammed in the hall as people push each other to be the first squeezing in the room.

As we slow down, I grab Gina's sleeve to pull her closer to me.

"Hey," she protests.

"Enough Gina," I say. "We used to be best friends."

She shrugs, looking me up and down. "We were, but even if you didn't drop me for your new band of misfits, I would want that script. I never said there was nothing in switching to theater for me. I want to be seen too."

She tugs her arm away from me, and continues pushing her way toward the door.

"Janie," I hear Patti screech from the back of the audience. "Come on, hussle! The librarian's coming to unlock the door!"

Moth is ahead of me, entering into a shoving match with Greg from Layla's group, and Thatcher is a only a few people back from Patti, who is now bursting into the library that the retired, volunteer librarian lady opened. For a brief moment, Thatcher's eyes and mine meet through the crowd pushing ahead.